'Cristiano' Category

Nereida Gallardo: Piss off, I’m Still Here

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Oh, bollocks.

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image via dailymail/eagle press

Whatsherface is on full effect damage control about the reports in Spain and Portugal that she’s been kicked to the kerb by Cristiano Ronaldo.

She’s gone on the offensive and told press that the relationship is not over. “I love him and he loves me,“ she told press outside her home in Majorca.

However, other people close to her are laughing this off and saying that Ms. Nereida is definitely on the single-train back to nurse school/bikini contests/etc.

Not that we expected her to curl up and disappear just yet, but this is some rapid fire response time on her behalf, and we are impressed by that.

Watch this space, Kickettes.  Surely a sex tape or reality tv show is nigh. We’re off to light a candle and offer up a Louboutin sacrifice to the gods in the hopes that Cristiano is single again.

Dumped: Nereida is History

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imageBelieve it Kickettes, it’s all our Christmases and birthdays rolled into one today.

We’ve just been told that Cristiano Ronaldo has dumped Nereida Gallardo – otherwise known affectionately by the masses as “whatsherface”. Well, okay we were the only ones to call her that but let’s not get caught up on details here.

Nereida lived the dream for several months, now we would hope she will hawk those C7 earrings in exchange for some therapy. She’s going to need it.

The Portuguese tabloid 24 horas says that C-Ron had gotten tired of all the gossip and press about Nereida’s past and their relationship.  Also, his mama hated her and felt she was a fame whore.  Gee, can’t think why.

Enjoy the rest of your Monday knowing Cristiano is single again. Hoochies and skanks across the globe, it may be your time to shine next.

Cheers CM!

Vacay: Cristiano and Whatsherface in Italy

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images via BIG Pictures/KEYSTONE Press

… and so it continues. 

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Link: On Holiday with Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo: Ice and Undies

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Cristiano Ronaldo, in his briefs, getting stalked by a paparazzi whilst filling up an ice bucket.

It’s not news, but it’s pretty.

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WAG Watch: Whatsherface on MSN

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For the Kickettes emailing us like mad over the news in the tabloids that whatsherface is stating an engagement situation with Cristiano:

We can confirm that Nereida Gallardo has definitely been online chatting regularly about Cristiano and their relationship on MSN.
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These photos are from a recent session where she was telling chat friends that she and Cristiano are engaged and are trying for a baby.

She also says that he is not going to Real Madrid – she “doesn’t want him going there”. 

One reader told us Nereida is “on MSN anytime she is not with him [Cristiano], telling anyone who will listen anything they want to know about him.“

imageOther random bits of info:

-Nereida logs into Spanish message boards using the creative moniker of “Cristina”.

-A blurry mobile video taken on the low of Nereida chatting avail to see here.

-More pics of Nereida in full hooch mode avail here.

-Information from a sell-out ex that Nereida is “wild” in the sack avail here. (NSFW)

-Our advice on what to do after reading this post: take a hot cleansing shower.

Btw, our magic eight ball says that all signs point to hell no on C-Ron being engaged, and we’re waiting to see a ring and some form of official document signed by witnesses before we believe otherwise.

A final note to whatsherface: when you are in an actual relationship with a baller, there is a certain amount of decorum one must call upon. Certainly, we would want to place a full page advertisement in the Sunday papers to let the world know of our increasing wealth and about all the sex ‘n such, but we would never actually do that. We would just brag in private to our mates whilst loading up the new Merc with shopping bags. We suggest you do the same. This is tack on a grand scale.

Thanks to A and E!