'Denmark' Category

International Results: Wet n’ Wild

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The referee wasn’t the only one to disbelieve the weather reports in Warsaw. Image: Michael Regan/Getty Images Europe.

Just to confirm, we weren’t in charge at the Polish National Stadium last night, we weren’t responsible for rendering the retractable roof  inoperable and that wasn’t one of our man slaves in a ref costume bumbling about pointlessly in the resulting swamp.

Although you would be forgiven for thinking it was, given the level of incompetence on display.

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Euro 2012 In Pictures: It’s Torso Time

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Image: Shaun Botterill/Getty Images Europe.

Some mid-sections are never concerned with being caught unawares, Kickettes.

Here’s a “we came to get down” selection of them from all this weekend’s matches.

The Friday Fancy: Simon Kjaer, Denmark

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CLAUS BECH/AFP/GettyImages

We see your Twitter assertions that he is not hot because he has a pudgy face and manky hair, and raise you this.

What more does the man need to do to win your affection besides balance wine cleverly disguised as coffee in a cup on his head?

Euro 2012 In Pictures: Denmark vs Portugal, Netherlands vs Germany

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The Euro 2012 Group O’ Death action soldiered on Wednesday and here’s our two cents about it:

Denmark: So, we know next to nothing about this team. Except that Bendy wore green pants that we’ve never seen before. We thought we’d seen all of his pants, so we’ll go with that.

Portugal: Some of the players need several soft-bristle brushes and a good conditioner to properly prep for game days. An excess of testosterone bodes well in footy matches, but when Ronaldo doesn’t have the energy or desire to whore out his body, you know he’s had a bad day.

Netherlands: Wesley Sneijder’s torso. And that tattoo. Oranje fans have suffered with this enough but Ibrahim Afellay is so refreshingly cute, he makes us want to skip through meadows and wear petticoats.

Germany: Well, they had this loveliness up front. Also up front, Mats Hummels. We assumed teams only needed one muscle-bound, vein-bulging footballer to win a game. So, congrats on that.

Euro 2012 In Pictures: Netherlands vs Denmark

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Daniel Agger’s thigh strains strained themselves during yesterday’s Denmark 1-0 Netherlands game. (AP Photo/Vadim Ghirda)

Group B – the “Group of Death” – lived up to its name yesterday, producing the first upset of the tournament as well as slaying our iPhone batteries quicker than we could say “choc pud”.

Relive all the Daniel Agger glory as we saw it while your vocal chords still have their health, Kickettes. Already the first week of June has brought its jumpy clap “A” game and you should too.