Image via sporten.dk Thanks, N!
The last time we saw Nicklas Bendtner parading around a hotel lobby he was sans trousers; a situation we were most pleased about.
How times have changed. Bendy is pictured on Danish sports site sporten.dk today, clutching the bundle of loveliness that is his six month old son, Nicholas. According to the site, Nicholas was delivered to his papa at the Danish team hotel by prior arrangement with former partner, Caroline Fleming. During a brief interview, the striker reiterated his desire to leave Arsenal and called his relationship with Caroline ‘complicated’.
For those not fully conversant with the deets of said relationship, please avail yourself of our handy reference cards here. Otherwise, just look at that baby. And hope his Daddy isn’t responsible for dressing him.
Asamoah Gyan & Derek Boeteng of Ghana share a tender moment during a friendly (ish) 1-1 draw with England at Wembley. Image: Reuters/Daylife
If our confusion over which games were friendlies and which meaningful at the weekend was bad, imagine our horror when confronted with last night’s maddening fixture schedule.
Fortunately, most of the Kickette staff were able to make it into the top secret work avoidance bunker (the toilets) before our dear editor could assign the round up, so we are
relieved pleased to be able to bring the you highlights via a special photo post.
We trust that the time honoured technique of including a photo of Yoann Gourcuff in said post will distract you sufficiently to allow us to get away with it.
Huge thanks to Danish dames Nathalia & Elsebeth for their translation help!
Recently, the Danish press has been hard at work trying to make sense of a possible reunion between Arsenal’s Nicklas Bendtner and his Baroness, Caroline Fleming. What sparked the fury was Nicky B.’s interview with Ekstra Bladet, where he spoke about possibly skipping out on Denmark and this summer’s U21 Euros in order to see more of his family:
“I need to make up my mind about if I want to say ‘no’ to a month of quality time with my family and instead go with a much shorter vacation….I already don’t see my son very much. We also have two children attending school. And they can not just go to Denmark, so the family can be together…”
Working backwards for a second, if you’re wondering who the two children are that he’s referring to, they would be C. Fleming’s kids from her previous marriage to wealthy Englishman Rory Fleming (the kids, seen above, went for a stroll with their Mum and Stepfather in London, March 2010).
Since the birth of their son three months ago, it’s been a game of diamond-encrusted cat and mouse with these two (along with his supposed lady-in-the-loo). Nevertheless, we’re always wrought with poorly-washed boxer brief grief when we learn of footballers’ family struggles, and hope Nicklas and Caroline can work some sort of custody/cash/quality time deal out soon.
Image: sporten.dk. Cheers, Elsebeth!
Ladies and gents, we’re pleased to present Martin Vingaard for your Wednesday afternoon treat. This great Dane is both tall and age-appropriate, so no need to internalise your guilty, pervtastic feelings today.
We first salivated over Mr. Vingaard after seeing him emerge fresh-faced from the snoozefest that was last week’s Champions League tie between his team and Chelsea. Follow-up instructions called for a closer, slower inspection, and…well…it was all downhill from there. Amid the cocktail chaos, one staffer went as far as her beer tower tall to proclaim how, with a little more blood and robot grease, Vingaard could be a darkhorse contender for a refreshed Finest Five list.
Image: Nils Meilvang.
Yowsers. With that, let’s cut to the chase: his positives include being multi-dimensionally hawt (smile + stare = win) his tongue and his inability to hold back when it counts. The negatives? Just one – over time, it appears, Martin’s head has had a hard time choosing between the next-to-nothing bald buzz before giving fully-erect follicles a go. It’s a minor blemish on his criminally cute record, but for all intensive purposes, we’ll be monitoring his super-sprouting strands-on-command closely.
So what’ll it be, Kickettes – a resounding ‘yay’? Or do you think he needs a few more miles on the clock before joining the ranks of the fine and talented?
Is Rangers’ El Hadji Diouf trying to give Celtic’s Kris Commons a kiss? Probably not. (Image: Reuters/Daylife)
Our weekly look at the whys and wherefores of the seven days past.
-Boosted Bosoms: Sara C. proudly flashed her shiny new enhancements this week – and, without trying to sound pervy (yeah, right) - we found them to be…nice. Meanwhile, former UK Big Brother contestant also unleashed her new ‘assets’. We found them to be… not nice.
Conclusion? We’re boob snobs.
- Happy Days: Noemie Lenoir was photographed looking relaxed and uber gorgeous on a sunshine break in Miami, having put last year’s problems firmly behind her.
Goal-den Boy: Also on the up was Nicklas Bendtner, who scored a hat-trick in Arsenal’s 5-0 FA Cup replay win over Leyton Orient. Now he’s looking forward to doing the same against Barca. Ahem.
- Same old, same old: Rangers had three players sent off during their bad tempered Scottish Cup game with Celtic. Regular viewers of the SPL will not be surprised to learn that El Hadji Diouf was among them.
- Getting Smashed: West Brom defender Jonas Olsson was forced to apologise to Stoke City after breaking a picture in the tunnel after Monday’s 1-1 EPL draw. In the great scheme of player related ass-hattery this week, it’s not exactly up there, but still.
- Barnet Bumbling: The ongoing saga of David Beckham’s hair took an interesting turn this week, when he availed himself of a trim (left) and was promptly accused of mimicking Bobby Charlton’s famous comb-over. (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)