“This is one of the greatest days of my life! I’m to become a father – have just seen our baby on a scan and can’t wait to the day my fiancée gives birth. We are indescribably happy and look forward to see our baby for the first time. We have just had an unforgetable holiday together and are now in USA with the whole family. I wish you all the same joy as me on your holiday.”
And with that, our favourite Dane, Nicklas Bendtner shatters the hearts of thousands of women. And the Kickette office lies in ruins.
But on the plus side, for those of us who have followed our beloved Nicky B’s love life with interest since his hook up with Baroness Caroline Flemming some eight months ago, at least we’ve had some warning. Take his stellar ‘ovary-busting whilst baby brandishing’ look (above).
We too have studied the photos at length and have concluded that the boy rocks this look almost as well as our other Nicky B fave photo opp fave, ‘sans trousers’. We are therefore fully comfortable with offering the following sentiment:
‘Congratulations Nicky and Caroline, we’re soooo looking forward to the baby pics!’
Well. Mostly comfortable. Maybe an eensy weensy bit sad.
Image via Reuters
In honour of the Danish NT’s sad departure from the World Cup, we have composed this short song about Nicklas Bendtner. Ahem.
A Man Who’s Very Tall
(to be sung raucously to the tune of Elton John’s ‘Candle In The Wind’)
Goodbye Nicky B
Though your team is out of the Cup
You had the grace to take the hit
And not look like a fool.
They said you were a bad boy
And they whispered into your brain
‘Get off the field of play…
…and colour-in your socks’
And it seems to us you live your life
Like a man who’s very tall
Never bowing to the pressure
to wear any clothes at all.
And we would have liked to have known you
(And have your kids), but
Your tourney’s burned out long before
Your legend ever will.
Image via Arseblog.com.
Now? He’s prancing around his national team’s hotel lobby sans bottoms.
Our love for this man would be unconditional if only he would turn around.
Images via Royal Press Photos.
Daniel Agger, Nicklas Bendtner and Dennis Rommedahl recently visited the city of Hellerup’s Experimentarium (yes, “experimentarium”) together as part of the Denmark National Team’s “Back To Grass Roots” campaign.
Oxygen intake at a liquid-free bar is a much safer – and sillier – team bonding activity than the French NT’s method of spirit boosting, and the day’s events kept the boys rather busy.
First, they took part in a CO2 Test to see how much carbon dioxide each player consumes. (After his mighty exhale turned the liquid from yellow to blue, the exhibit’s scientists concluded that Bendtner needed a Trebor. Extra Strong, not the soft ones.)
Side note: Since body weight is also a test factor, we’ve already crossed “a trip to Hellerup’s Experimentarium” off our summer holiday hotspots. Not worth it.
Rommedahl and Agger took to the stationary bike to see if either could provide enough juice to turn a flat screen TV on, and the day ended with an autograph session that included Bendtner scrawling his siggy on a fan’s Manchester United kit.
Although these activities all seemed quite health conscious, we believe there was one notable anti-wellness situ: Bendtner’s trucker hat emblazoned with a bull skull. Yes, now that we’ve noticed it, we are feeling quite dizzy.