Roque! We missed you, baby! Image: REUTERS/Jorge Adorno/Daylife
For some, Independence Day is an opportunity to contemplate the signing of the Declaration of Independence and it’s implications for citizens of the globe. For Kickette staff, it is an opportunity to not do any work. All day. You might think this is sheer laziness, but actually is requires quite a lot of strategic planning; we have to constantly ensure we are in an area with no wifi, broadband or cell signal, in case our Editor changes her mind and tries to round us up.
You have Weekend Results, featuring the highlights of both the Copa America and the Women’s World Cup. Treasure them. We’re not sure if anything else (apart from empty bottles) will make it out of here today.
Competition for the inaugral ‘Bish, Please’ awards sponsored by Zlatan Ibrahimovic is already underway in the England camp. Image: Reuters/Daylife.
We confess to being quite startled at the huge response our query regarding coverage of the Women’s World Cup received. We must warn you that while we are thrilled to bring you our take on the competition, this is precisely the type of behaviour that tends to upset people who prefer to believe that the Kickette Army’s interest in football extends only as far as the number of naked torsos we can drool over in ninety minutes. Should you encounter any such idiocy, our handy refresher course should prepare you.
Oh. And before we launch into the goings-on in Germany to date, we’d just like to advise those of you expressing concern that we would not be covering the Copa America, that our in-depth analysis will commence on Monday morning. Given our shining track record of covering important events, we’re a bit hurt that you might think we would forget a tournament of the magnitude of the Copa. When do we ever forget anything?
Today we were horrified to discover there is another football tourney currently taking place without our knowledge or consent. We’ve had a meeting and decided to take the line that everyone is always welcome to stuff our inbox with sufficiently important details. Otherwise we just won’t bother.
Well, imagine our surprise when that exact thing happened this morning! Yes, we struggled into the office and then spent a good twenty minutes watching Canada’s goalkeeper, Quillan Roberts, do a ‘Xabi’ by smacking the ball into the opposition net from his own half (1:30). And if that wasn’t enough to ease you into your Thursday, this clip offers bonus footage for England fans, in that their team was actually 2-1 ahead before Quillan struck.
It doesn’t get any better for you guys, does it?
England NT kits. Now specially designed with an absorbant patch to soak up tears. Image: Reuters/Daylife
Having stretched our resources to the absolute minimum to bring you the kind of in-depth coverage of the Euro U21 tournament you might expect from Kickette, we are pleased to advise that after this weekend’s fixtures, there are only four teams left in the competition. This isn’t necessarily good news for you as, chances are, your team has been knocked out. For us though, it’s great, as it means less time trying to decipher tables, and more time trying to fight off the notion that we really should be doing something more constructive with our lives than staring at photos of young boys.
It’s a constant struggle, y’know?
Spain’s Adrian. Showing promise in a number of areas. Image: Getty Images/Zimbio.
Ok, we’ve managed to work out that there’s no quarter final stage in this tourney. Which may or may not help the accuracy of our reporting. Apparently, the top two teams from each of the two groups progress directly through to the semi-final stage, making the final group matches being held this weekend kind of important.