Stuart Pearce is working for the other side, Kickettes. Be brave in the face of inconceivable provocation. Images: Getty Images/Daylife.
As the fastest growing demographic in football support (Source: The Kickette Institute For Shameless Self Promotion), we feel that the time has come for the governing body of the global game to pay some mind to our more ‘specialist’ requirements. We’ve campaigned hard for our rights, but it seems that our assertions about global productivity being seriously affected by the lack of tanned manflesh available to help us get up in the morning are falling on deaf ears.
Well thank you, Michael Carrick. Without your attendance at the Montreal Grand Prix yesterday, we may never have learned of the existence of Canadian skier Erik Guay. And then googled him and found out he wears a really tight suit to work. Yay! Image: Getty Images/Daylife
Okay Kickettes, we may have to reconsider our Cheech approach. Apparently, comedy devil horns and a gonky grin are the way to amuse him. Not exactly what we had in mind, but we’re adaptable. Image: Reuters/Daylife
Considering how much time we spend moaning about the Weekend Results and how their preparation impinges on our revelry, it’s something of a surprise that when given the opportunity to ignore football and competitions less omnipresent in their nature, we choose to write about them anyway.
We therefore suggest that you read through our reports on the opening salvos at the European U21 Championships in Denmark and the latest fixtures in the CONCACAF Gold Cup, thoroughly examine the photos we have found of nubile, athletic bodies, have a short, guilt-ridden review of your priorities in life and then forget the whole thing ever happened.