'England' Category

Wayne Rooney: The Bald Truth

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Here’s Wayne with his slightly sore looking ‘do. It’s in the seedling stage at the mo, but we are certain it will bloom in due course. Image Source: yfrog.

Every fibre of our collective beings wants to mock, okay? We’ve been valiantly fighting it since Saturday morning, when Manchester United’s follicular fail of a striker tweeted the news that he had undergone a hair transplant. Maybe it’s the term ‘hair transplant’ and who we imagine the recipient of such a procedure might end up looking like.

Despite our best efforts, we haven’t been able to conjure up anything too mean to say about Wazza and his costly coverage. As he pointed out, he was going bald at 25-years-old, so we understand his reasons in seeking out John Travolta’s hair line. Also, we like that he’s treating the whole issue with the kind of good humour that instantly renders anyone taking the micky out of him desperate. And we hate looking desperate.

Good on ya, Wayne. Oh, and good luck in the dressing room pre-season. We suspect you might need it.

Weekend Results: International Idling

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We couldn’t have put it better ourselves, Joey. Image: Reuters/Daylife.

We think at this point we’re supposed to offer you a comprehensive write up of all the International and Euro 2012 Qualifying fixtures that FIFA saw fit to throw at us this weekend, but running with the crowd is tough when caught in the thrall of the fashion world’s current predilection for towering heels.

Hence why we’re going to take a metaphorical sit down on the kerb for a breather and a juicebox while you review the things that caught our attention this weekend.

They may or may not include your team’s results and photos of hot players naked.

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Ashley Cole: Repressed Memory Syndrome

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It can be terrible when forgotten events from the weekend suddenly come back to haunt you, as Ashley Cole found out during an England NT training session earlier this week. Image: Getty Images/Daylife

Midweek Hmm? Frank Lampard, England

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Lampsy ensures that everything is secure after ‘training’. Getty Images/Daylife.

We’ve been trying to muster up the energy to get excited about the international matches at the weekend, but quite frankly, after the merriment of the league season, Champions League final and various play-offs and Cup Finals, we find ourselves underwhelmed.

Earlier today, Frank Lampard arrived at England NT training in all his orange glow glory and abruptly flipped the switch on us (not the first time, mind you).

We’re torn, Kickettes. His two-tone, fake ‘n bake appearance is both moderately bothersome yet terrifyingly attractive to us.

And you?

The England Jersey: So Last Year

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With so many goalkeepers pulling out of the England squad as of late, we’re eagerly awaiting a call up call to the Kickette office. We figure that it’s only a matter of time before Fabio Capello runs out of options and seeks help from the leading proponents of football fluffery. It’s a long shot, sure, but we’ve packed for a heavy Joe Hart ‘training’ session.

Hey, it could happen.

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