'English Premier League' Category

John Terry: Down, But Not Out

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Turn that agonising frown upside down, JT! After all, your team won in the end, didn’t they?

Although, a tip for next time: ’tis best to seek medical attention whilst shirtless. It’ll relieve any immediate pain and suffering. Guaranteed.

Kai Rooney: Nou Reason To Panic

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Truth be told, little Kai has quite the kit collection for a kid his age. Image: WENN.

 

Lazy Links & Randoms

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Spare a thought for this Manchester City photographer, who was (jokingly) accosted by Mario Balotelli in the tunnel whilst on her knees.

That reads a helluva dirtier than we intended it to.

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Monday Night Football: Frustrating ‘Fros

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Image: ANDREW YATES/AFP/GettyImages; Michael Regan/Getty Images.

The owner/occupier of the EPL’s biggest mess of a mane (Timmy Howard’s words, not ours!) rose above the United defence to score the only goal of last night’s Everton vs. Manchester United game, and despite rocking United’s new gingham get-up which we don’t hate quite as much now, neither Rooney nor Robin could do a damn thing about it.

While we’re on the subject of overwhelming hair in the United defence, we were rather perturbed by Nemanja Vidic’s sudden regrowth. Just how did his follicles go from freshly buzzed to fully overgrown bush? You know Kickettes, come to think of it, fur doesn’t grow on metal.

Hmmm, just how indeed.

Transfer Totty: Short & Sweeties

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Update: Espanyol completed the signing of Portuguese winger Simao Sabrosa from Turkish giants Besiktas yesterday; Daniele De Rossi confirmed this morning that he won’t fly the AS Roma coop for Man City, causing our eyes to well up in sentimental glee; and Luka Modric is/was isn’t reportedly in Madrid to finalize his move from Tottenham to the reining La Liga champions side.

In football fan terms: this is exciting, sensational stuff.

In Kickette terms: Simao and DDR are (still) hot while Modric is (still) not good-looking. Whatsoever. Real talk, Kickettes.