Photo via StephenIreland.com
Last month, we caught wind of a Manchester City charity function that was supposedly a sight for sore eyes. We heard that Stephen Ireland and girlfriend, Jessica Lawler, raised an impressive £110,000 for the Francis House Children’s Hospice at their Valentine’s Day benefit party. There was talk of bubbly and bad fashion aplenty but no photos.
Then, just like Dorothy when she landed in far-away Oz, we got the photo collection. Unlike Dorothy, however, we couldn’t click our red Manolos to make it all go away. *Velvet and Lace and Bows, OH MY!*
In summary, fashion offenders included:
- Shay Given wearing crushed velvet; Jane Given as Claudine Keane
- Shawn Wright-Philips with an un-tied bow tie
- Winona De Jong in a Stella McCartney lace onesie. A high street designer does not make a lace jumpsuit posh, Mrs. D.
If the attire wasn’t enough, there was some weirdly awkward WAG touching, too. Just as we thought we could bring closure to the helter-skelter fashion failure that was, we stumbled upon a Nigel De Jong boogeying down video that helps us all relive this rather fantabulous festivity in all its’ glory.
Editor Note: Visit the Manchester City Official Club page to donate to the cause.
- Chelsea’s Michael Ballack headed to Zuma and Frank Lampard hit up ChinaWhite to celebrate their win this weekend. Yes. ChinaWhite. It still exists, Kickettes.
- As the good fellas at World of MUFC alerted us, Emma Neville gave birth to her second daughter, Sophie, last week. Congrats to Gary Neville and family.
- Seems as though Vanessa Perroncel has successfully built herself a (Wayne-funded?) bridge and gotten over it. She was spotted Saturday evening on a night out after her reported £1 mill in support claim was granted. She was also spotted by some Chelsea boys on a night out. How fun.
Spring has sprung ladies, and as we all know, in Springtime a young footballer’s thoughts turn to love. Or, in the case of Celtic’s Josh Thompson, something else entirely. We are not the only ones to think this goal celebration looks a bit, well, thorough, are we?
Anyway, Robbie seems pleased. The matter has been referred to the Kickette Short Tent Institute and we will revert in due course.
Through a 5 minute Google search, we were able to discover what is being touted as Joe Cole’s “official Web site”. Roughly 30 seconds later we hit the panic button because we thought our eyes were failing us. Then, the weight of the words attributed to J. Cole sank in.
In the above screen shot, you’ll see Cole’s supposed “bros before hoes” shout-out to the teammate who routinely cheated on his pop-star wife.
UPDATE: For those e-mailing us, we’re not sure about what levels of photoshop trickery may have been used, if any, in the above pic.
While you take a moment to admire Luis Figo’s manly backpack (it belongs to his daughter), please do enjoy a few bits of news and goss.
-Speaking of pink bags, the Spoiler have published their list of top ten metrosexual ‘ballers. We can’t help but think it’s missing the king of man-bags and poker-straight locks, a certain Mr Ramos.
-Metrosexual stylings not your thing? Xabi Alonso’s Esquire cover shot should solve that. We’re getting a little worried about the current Spanish trend for dodgy beards though…
-We’re going to assume Cheryl Cole’s feedback mic/monitor/auto-tuner was having a bad day during this live performance of Parachutes.
-In other Chezza news, she’s flaunting her single girl status. We approve.
-Inter’s Francesco Toldo got more than big balls; he’s got a big mouth too. [via UF.com]
-We want a peek in Coleen Rooney’s Selfridges bag!
-Lionel Messi is one RAMO (rich-ass-mo-fo). He’s just knocked Becks off the top of the footy rich list.
-Wow. Charlie Davies is back in training. Hella impressive.
-More Andrey Arshavin webchat insanity. It’s him or Robbie Savage for Internet LOL-King of 2010, that’s for sure.