'Euro 2012' Category

Euro 2012 In Pictures: Denmark vs Portugal, Netherlands vs Germany


The Euro 2012 Group O’ Death action soldiered on Wednesday and here’s our two cents about it:

Denmark: So, we know next to nothing about this team. Except that Bendy wore green pants that we’ve never seen before. We thought we’d seen all of his pants, so we’ll go with that.

Portugal: Some of the players need several soft-bristle brushes and a good conditioner to properly prep for game days. An excess of testosterone bodes well in footy matches, but when Ronaldo doesn’t have the energy or desire to whore out his body, you know he’s had a bad day.

Netherlands: Wesley Sneijder’s torso. And that tattoo. Oranje fans have suffered with this enough but Ibrahim Afellay is so refreshingly cute, he makes us want to skip through meadows and wear petticoats.

Germany: Well, they had this loveliness up front. Also up front, Mats Hummels. We assumed teams only needed one muscle-bound, vein-bulging footballer to win a game. So, congrats on that.

Jesus Navas & Javi Martinez: Taking A Ride On The Ramos Mobile


Image: Jasper Juinen/Getty Images Europe.

We would desperately like to write a witty quip to accompany this image, but feel Sergio’s range of hair and facial expressions in this gallery gives more than any words could ever say.

Theo Walcott & Melanie Slade: Subdued Sightseers


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England’s Walcott took his fiancee, Mel Slade, for a mini tour around Krakow earlier today.

Euro 2012 Photo Call: The Best Bulge Won


Judging by David Limbersky’s reaction, yesterday’s Greece 1-2 Czech Republic game was one that involved much thrusting, clenching and groin-growing.

If that’s not a match-winning attitude, we don’t know what is.

WAGs At Euro 2012: Few & Far Between


European footy WAGs must not have the energy to even pretend to give a shite about their partners’ group stage games since only a handful of leading ladies from Spain, Italy and Germany managed to bring their well-dressed selves and kids to some of the early stuff.

Looking especially suspicious at your absence, English WAGs.

Iker’s main squeeze and rumoured fiancee, Sara Carbonero, was lucky enough to see all the Spain vs Italy action from the sidelines. She’s currently in one of the two host countries working hard for the Mediaset Sport sideline reportage wonga.

Does anyone else remember a time when wives and girlfriends were content with being a famous footballer’s wife – accepting their position in life solely through their hot husbands achievements? Those were the good old days, weren’t they Kickettes?