'FAIL Files' Category

Alex Gerrard: Collar Criminal

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Image via Tumblr.

Her first two forrays into collar-dom were bad enough. But this?

This calls for a lie down. Stat.

Sergio Ramos: Step Away From The Stretch Pants

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As for Sergio, my, what a big hose he has. Image: @SergioRamos.

Pink lycra: for students of dance, not men approaching 30.

Sorry amigo de Sergio.

Adil Rami, Philippe Mexes & Karim Benzema: Training Pinny Problems

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Image: REUTERS/Charles Platiau.

We have a renewed sense of faith and confidence in England’s squad going into today’s Group D match and it has everything to do with this French trio’s use of Pampers diapers as vests.

Definitely Not Rich List: John Carew

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Now that a court has declared West Ham’s John Carew bankrupt, he can’t afford to buy any more “outfits” like these.

For shame.

But not really.

Weight Watchers: Original Ronaldo

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Note to selves: avoid the Rose nightclub in Marylebone at all costs.

When we said we’d stick with the crème de la crème of football through thick and thin, we didn’t mean this thick.

Those poor buttons will never be the same again.