'FAIL Files' Category

Frankie Sandford: Using The Birkin As Blockage

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Wayne Bridge girlfriend singer baby mama drama

We’ll be confiscating that Hermes handbag on the grounds of cruelty, Sandford. Hand it over and nobody will get hurt or stained. Image: FameFlynet Pictures.

Kickette Fail Files: Marco Simone, AS Monaco FC

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Image: planete-asm.fr.

Retired Serie A footballer turned Ligue 2 club manager, Marco Simone, has the most interesting hairstyle – if “style” is even the right word to call it?

You think those haven’t-been-washed-in-weeks strands are all really his? Or is this the effed up work of a hair piece?

If Marco’s bedhead didn’t sprout from his own scalp, well then, he should look into getting a refund.

Like, immediately.

Ballon d’Or 2012: Where Is The Love?

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It’s right here, with Zinedine Zidane and Pele. Image: FABRICE COFFRINI/AFP/Getty Images.

Lionel Messi took home the coveted FIFA Ballon d’Or trophy Monday evening, staving off tough competition from Barcelona teammate, Xavi Hernandez, and Real Madrid rival, Cristiano Ronaldo (who was a no-show since his squad is set to do battle with Malaga in the Copa Del Ray today). As we raise our mugs of tea in a congratulatory salute to the talismanic mini-man, we’d also like to divert your attention to the real news at hand here:

There was a whole ‘lotta fashion uglyitis going on in Zurich last night. It was, perhaps, the craziest parade of clothes and coifs we’ve ever seen at a football awards gala.

We loathe ourselves every time we have something negative to say about somebody, but we’ve got a few things to get off our perky chests. We suspect the disagreeable gauntlet is ahead of us, so here goes nothing.

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Kickette Catch Up: Your Holiday Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

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Bojan Krkic was all but mauled by a Kickette Soldier girl at his book signing last week.

We’re beyond proud.

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Mario Balotelli & Raffaella Fico: So Much To Say, So Little Time

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City footballer player bad style taste fashion

We realise that in the early stages of a relationship (late stages of a very temporary liaison) it’s common to mimic your partner’s mode of dress.

Which is great unless your ‘partner’ happens to be football’s answer to Flavor Flav. We understand that love is blind, Raffaella, but we feel it only appropriate to make sure you’re fully aware of this before you commit to anything.

And to think, some say we’re bitchy. Go figure.