'FAIL Files' Category

Nigel de Jong: Wedgie Wonderment


There’s no way Nigel de Jong pant theatrics didn’t leave his bum with rug burn. There’s just no way. Image Credit:¬†Michael Regan/Getty Images Europe.

Kickette Fail Files: A Torrid Ten Minutes For Torres


Stamford Bridge. 15.29. Fernando scores only the third competitive goal of his Chelsea career. He is happy. Image: Clive Rose/Getty Images.

It doesn’t get any easier for Nandina in the EPL. After last week’s glimpse of the old Torres was eclipsed by the new one’s howling miss later in the game, we imagined it couldn’t get any worse for our freckled friend.

Then it did.


Kickette Fail Files: Peter Odemwingie, West Brom


That thigh muscle is only ever going to distract us from your horror barnet for so long, Peter. Images: Getty Images/Zimbio.

Even though there are a few of us in the Kickette office who abuse peroxide frequently enough to warrant threats of service revocation from our hairdressers, we don’t condone similar crimes by boys.

We feel that footballers have an obligation to maintain their hotness at all times and feel aggrieved when they do stuff – without even ruddy asking – things that compromise our ability to appreciate them.


Golden Rule: Less Is Always More


During a chavtastic stroll out in Manchester last week, ITV soap actress, Helen Flanagan, and her Swansea City footballer, Scott Sinclair, barely said one word to each other since they were both too consumed in their mobile convos. And who said romance and Juicy Couture tracksuits were dead?

Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet


sport Bundesliga national team WAG wife

Not just Germany’s most popular WAG, she may just be their most popular female celebrity. Respect Claudia Lahm, Kickettes. Image taken July 2010. Image Credit: REUTERS/Michaela Rehle.


- Possibly unscientifically-proven German search engine research found that Philipp Lahm’s wife, Claudia, was the most sought after woman on their ‘celebrity barometer’, based on the number of news stories she was featured in. Report runners-up were Anna-Maria Lagerblom (ex of Mesut Ozil) and Monika Podolski (wife of Lukas).

-Neymar took faux hawks to a whole ‘nother, epic level this weekend.

Cheers to EC for the hair raising discovery. Image Credit: JEFFERSON BERNARDES/AFP/Getty Images.

- Rafael and Sylvie van der Vaart proved their power couple perfection yet again. We’ll never grow tired of these two even though their standard of living will never be within our means.

- A suavely-coiffed Xavi attended the Catalunya GP this weekend, and some sources have reported that Ducati driver, Valentino Rossi, knelt down in front of Xavi and kissed his feet. (Sidenote: Bigfoot was also there.)