'FAIL Files' Category

The Sizzle Query: I Hate Him, But I’d Still Hit It

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There are a number of players in world football who, for one reason or another, do not enjoy the kind of adoration from fans that their less ‘morally challenged’ counterparts do. However, in our capacity of ‘hot bishes of the parish’, we reserve the right to perv on any man sporting the correct combination of abs, tent and thigh action.

Query love them or hate themEven if they are sexually, verbally or indeed literally incontinent.

We like to attribute it to an evolutionary drive to procreate, uninhibited by social constructions such as morality. Others would call us skanks, if only we cared to listen. And we know we’re not the only ones.

Kickette would you ratherSo, in response to a comment in a post yesterday, we throw out the challenge. Who would compel you to betray your stringent personal code for a few moments of ‘baller bliss? The criteria are yours to define, just keep to guys who have sullied their rep in whatever unpleasant circumstances would all like to pretend didn’t happen.

Confused? Start with Ashley Cole and work upwards.

Cheers B!

Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

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Hark! Whose stray chin strands go there? Image Credit: REUTERS/Giorgio Perottino.

Saturday

- We had harsh words for the owl-kicking Colombian player after we caught wind of the incident, but they weren’t nearly as bad as his court-mandated punishment. Luis Moreno must pay an undisclosed fine, foot the bird’s treatment bill and perform community service at the local zoo.

- Would you ‘turn off the TV’ for Alessandro Del Piero? What if he bribes you with his bedhead and Italian language-of-love skillz?

- Gerard Pique’s girlfriend, Shakira, won 6 trophies at the Latin Billboard Music Awards. Not too shabby we say.

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Kickette Fail File: Robbie Savage, Derby County

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He’s got the armband. He’s got the hair. He’s got the ability to keep us all informed as to his movements every 6.5 seconds via Twitter. But despite photo evidence to the contrary, Robbie Savage does not yet have the whole package.

Sav? Please step forward. It’s time to receive your Kickette Fail File.

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Kickette Fail Files: Shirt Removal 101

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Here at Kickette, our stance on FIFA’s rule for giving a yellow card for shirt removal is well documented. We’ve lost hours of sleep over it and so has Diego Forlan.

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Kickette Fail Files: The British Press

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It’s there! Nemanj struggles with his cruelly ignored visual  impairment. Image: Getty Images/Zimbio.

If you routinely frequent this site, you’re probably familiar with Nemanja Vidic’s body of work. Acknowledged for his defensive prowess in a Manchester United shirt, his inordinately sexy thighs and oddly alluring ‘hot robot’ look (‘oddly’ as those previously sporting the cyborg physiognomy have included Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator and Kryten from Red Dwarf, neither of which we have ever found remotely alluring), Vida is our go-to guy when we are outsourcing assets such as engine oil, used tyres and Swarfega.

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