'FAIL Files' Category

Kickette Fail File: Craig Bellamy, Cardiff City FC

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A trip to the English Championship for our latest Fail File, Kickettes. Please leave your golf clubs at the door and follow us. Refreshments will be provided during the interval.

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Kickette Fail Files: Bradley Johnson, Leeds Utd

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We think that’s known as ‘taking one for the team’. (Getty Images/Daylife)

So much Cup excitement across the European continent, so little willingness from the Kickette staff to write up a proper ‘Results Post’. Hmm.

But fear not Kickettes, we’re actually doing this for your own good. You see, if we do proper results posts for everything, then you’ll come to expect it, and the disappointment you will feel when you log on to our site and find nothing but captioned photos and naked ballers will be crippling. Therefore, our laziness is a public service. Brilliant!

Please celebrate with us by enjoying this Cup themed Fail File.

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Kickette Fail Files: Fulham FC

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Chris Baird (left) and Clint Dempsey. Admirable enthusiasm, but useful? No. (Getty Images/Daylife)

With the Kickette staff rueing the missed opportunity of having run a Festive Fail File (alliteration is our second favourite thing in the world after peach schnapps, after all), we would like mask our disappointment by starting 2011 as we mean to go on.

That is, making facetious remarks about footballers as they attend to their everyday business. Please enjoy.

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Kickette Fail Files: Carling Cup Fashion

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Emmanuel Eboue strikes fear into the heart of a pitch invader. By wearing tights. (Reuters/Daylife)

We’re going for a double header today, team.

 As you may know, last night’s Carling Cup fixtures (Arsenal vs Wigan Athletic & West Ham vs Manchester United) took place in the English capital, which is currently experiencing conditions more usually confined to the Arctic circle. This prompted one or two fashion decisions worthy of our attention. Sir Alex Ferguson and Emmanual Eboue, please gather in the Kickette broom cupboard for your hearing. And try not to be too sartorially offensive – our fashion department can be tetchy.

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Kickette Fail Files: Cristiano Ronaldo

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Don’t strain yourself, Cris. (AP Photo/Daylife)

You know what, Cris? You might have the most ridiculous taste in clothing, hairstyles and tanning shades but our sartorial radar seems to take a hike when you’re around.

Yep. We love you regardless, dammit. You’re foine, yo.

But still: there are times when your nonchalance has to be put in check. Kickettes, please convene in the chamber to consider the evidence. Crissy’s up for a FAIL.

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