Last time we checked, wearing hair rollers in public was a “Don’t” in most sensible ladies’ books.

Well thanks to a recently misinterpreted decree from Vogue, the British press is now claiming that the baffling, mind-boggling and completely WAG-like trend of wearing hair rollers whilst out and about is now in fashion.

Not so fast.

Once upon a time, there were the odd anomalies to this errand-running ritual. Victoria Beckham and Cheryl Cole were both seemingly impervious to the doctrine of wandering the streets in hair curlers and spending their days engaged in competitive shopping. Victoria moved to America and Cheryl was stripped of her WAG title so the protests from these two exceptions failed to make an impact on their Northern counterparts.

Now if one takes a trip to Liverpool at the weekend, just as Vogue Italia fashion editor Stefania Cubello did, you’ll supposedly find gaggles of young gals walking around with their hair in velcro rollers in preparation of the BNO. Apparently keeping one’s hair pinned up makes it curly and bouncy right before heading out on the town, but is looking like a granny all day long worth the trade off?

We don’t think so.

Furthermore, does anyone else get the sense that Cubello’s comments were made more along the “just trying to be nice” lines?

Our opinion: some of the British press are a pack of unoriginal story-stealing wolves and women should keep their rollers behind closed doors. The bounciness of one’s hair really doesn’t matter when falling out of a club at dawn with half a gin and tonic spilled in it.

While staring at this photo of two Borussia Dortmund boys and their WAGs at a post-fashion show party in honour of sweets and other high carb/high sugar delights, we were struck by one undeniable truth: shop assistants lie. Oh, how they lie.

They lie to the innocent and cash-rich when they tell them, “Why yes, Mr Kehl, Palm Beach suits are going to be huuuge this Spring.”

They lie when they also say, “Shresses with elastic hems and colorful Missoni-like haberdashery are a must for any woman seeking a front row seat at Berlin Fashion Week,” as well as, “Whatever it is you’ve got on your feet really bring out the warmth in your eyes, Josipa.”

Anyway as we were saying, Borussia Dortmund’s (from left to right) Patrick Owomoyela, his steady sweetheart, Josipa, his team-mate, Sebastian Kehl, and Kehl’s WAG, Tina Kruger, hit the red carpet together two weeks ago in Cologne, Germany, to celebrate the annual International Sweets and Biscuits Fair (ISM).

Naturally, we’ve signed up for VIP tickets to next year’s shindig.

Images: EkstraBladet.dk.

Top of the morning to ya, Kickettes!

Hope you had a nice weekend filled with treats of the alcoholic and ‘baller varieties.

Saturday

- Nicklas Bendtner brought his two favourite females – a pet snake and his rumoured new girlfriend – to the launch of “NB Jewellery” where his first collection, “N3,” was presented. A dream of his ever since he was a young lad, Nicky B joins the much-better-suited ranks of David Beckham, Thierry Henry and Rio Ferdinand as footballers who own their own fashion and/or accessory lines.

- Good news for Stewart Downing: he won’t face charges after being arrested last month on suspicion of assault according to police. The 27-year-old winger was held for questioning on the 8th of January in relation to an alleged altercation with the 32-year-old mother of his child outside a pub in Yarm. She, too, was arrested that night, and remains free on police bail until further notice.

- Model/WAG extraordinaire, Irina Shayk, joined her BFF and fellow SI co-worker, Jessica White, at Las Vegas nightclub 1OAK for a pre-Super Bowl party. Our sugar daddy never came through FTW, in case you were wondering.

Images: PacificCoastNews.com.

Sunday

- Victoria Beckham accidentally crashed the Irish Hospice Foundation’s Web site after Tweeting a thank you message to Bono and his wife for the children’s book they gave to Vicky B’s daughter, Harper.

- Helen Flanagan felt the need to remind us +5 times about her relationship with Swansea footballer, Scott Sinclair, in an otherwise forgettable interview with one of the daily papers. Nice try, but you’re both still on the cusp of being irrelevant to us.

- Dutch ‘baller, Ryan Babel, dispensed some rather curious pontifications on relationships for women and children of varying ages to live by. Example: “Waiting until your parents are in a good mood before asking them for something you want…” Cheers for the advice, Captain Obvious.

We’re quite certain this falls into the “breaking news” category, but we’ll be damned if we put the effort into Googling the amount of times a ‘baller has been seen with his sweetie at Cricket.  For as long as we’ve been spouting nonsense and abalicious photos, it’s never happened.

Perhaps Charlie’s fiancée fancied herself a pair of limited edition Ruthie Davis hi-tops with signature spikes, something she’s been recently lusting over on Twitter.  For a measly £350.00 (or $645), it’s no wonder Sophie-Leigh decided to bring her man and his credit card along for the boutique shopping ride.

But still, a footballer bravely (and knowingly) entering the confines of Cricket with his lady in tow and without a noose around his neck is a rarity ’round those parts. So much so that we’re slightly scared and acting all melodramatic about the apocalypse coming to get us before our next blowout.

Only gossip mags and Jaffa Cakes can save us now, Kickettes. Stay strong and start stock piling.

On the left is Sylvie van der Vaart; on the right is a Barbie in her likeness. Or maybe that’s the other way around. Images via @rafvdvaart

It was only a matter of time before the living Barbie became a real Barbie, wasn’t it?

Proud husband Rafael tweeted some pics of the Sylvie Barbie that was unveiled at a toy fair in Germany today. Toy makers Matel even worked with Sylvie’s stylist Danie Bles to make sure every detail of the Jan Taminiau dress she wore on Let’s Dance last year was accurate.

Sylvie is working as an ambassador for a European design competition with Barbie. This makes us think of what other WAGs would make good Barbies. We’ve affectionately dubbed Claudine Keane “Hot Mess Barbie,” but there must be more. Alex Gerrard as “Trend Monger Barbie” perhaps? Yolanthe Cabau as “Hair Envy Barbie?”

Share your Barbie thoughts with us.

Discard your sensible trousers and shirts lacking in leather panels, fellas. This is the look.

The intrepid gentlemen (and ladies) at British GQ threw us for a loop yesterday morning when they announced their annual list of Britain’s 50 Best Dressed Men. Sure, the obvious choice to represent all of ‘ballerdom was there and we would’ve been perfectly satisfied if they left it at that.

They didn’t. And their selection for the runner up had us checking our Twinings for hallucinogens.

GQ has named the enigmatic and controversial Manchester City forward Mario Balotelli as the second best dressed man in Britian. He who wears sweat pants to dinner and never met a pair of jorts that a silver pocket chain didn’t go with. We’re trying to understand this. Really – we are.

Fashion and style are subjective, we know this. One man’s camouflage baseball cap is another man’s three-piece suit, we get it. But just because we’re not into hoodies and trousers that are a fabric panel away from being hammer pants doesn’t mean there isn’t an establishment out there waiting to anoint Super Mario as the second best dressed man of an entire nation.

Ok so some of his looks aren’t that bad. Shawl collar jumpers can be a little sexy if worn right, so we will politely nod in the fireworks safety sergeant’s direction for always keeping us on our sartorial toes whilst dressing outside the box.

The moral of our story, Kickettes: dress madder than a wet hen and you shall go far.

What do you think of dear Mario’s recent plaudit? Surely there is room on that list for other British ballers – who do you think is missing?

Jose haz a sad. Image via Jasper Juinen/Getty Images Europe; Denis Doyle/Getty Images Europe.

Like a lot of you, we’ve noticed that The Special One’s dress sense has gone from GQMF to WTF. Case and point: to sweat out Wednesday night’s El Clasico, Jose wore track pants, a hoodie, and a puffer vest.

A puffer vest! Two years ago Jose would have used a puffer vest as a wee pad for his dogs. So what’s causing the dip in sartorial form?

Jose must have a case of the sadz. Sure, Real Madrid are 5 points clear at the top of La Liga and have a somewhat promising match up with CSKA Moscow in the knock out stage of the Champions League, but when push comes to shove they probably couldn’t beat Barcelona even if all the Blaugranas wore blindfolds and Messi played with his legs tied together.

Trophies are what matter. We think. Or so says Jose’s style.

When we’re down, our emergency stash of chocolate buttons is the first to go. Maybe for Jose it’s his custom-tailored suits. Barcelona is his Everest. Until he conquers it we’re in for Adidas, nylon and *gasp* polyester.

Sara ventured outside her home and into Madrid’s city centre on 18.01.2012, Mrs Jamie Redknapp seen leaving ITV studios 20.01.2012 and Gigi Buffon’s missus was papped visiting a kiddie clothing store last weekend. Images: Bellazon; FameFlynet Pictures; Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images Europe.

We’ve seen all three wear much more exciting ensembles than these, but they all look very normal for once. Tired, slightly annoyed even, but otherwise very normal.

Sara Carbonero’s signature street style seems to fall in line with a “longer + looser = better” mantra, which we definitely identify with on most Saturdays and Sundays. We’re a little uninspired by Louise Redknapp’s love for all things furry, fluffy or fuzzy, however. And while we (and Yolanda Ruiz) j’adore Alena Seredova’s Prada Saffiano lux double-zip tote, that doesn’t compensate for the rest of whatever she’s wearing.

Your take on the sartorial choices of these errand-running WAGs, Kickettes? Do you dig their casual cool vibes, or wish they’d lighten up and put a little more effort into their winter weather street style?

It’s right here, with Zinedine Zidane and Pele. Image: FABRICE COFFRINI/AFP/Getty Images.

Lionel Messi took home the coveted FIFA Ballon d’Or trophy Monday evening, staving off tough competition from Barcelona teammate, Xavi Hernandez, and Real Madrid rival, Cristiano Ronaldo (who was a no-show since his squad is set to do battle with Malaga in the Copa Del Ray today). As we raise our mugs of tea in a congratulatory salute to the talismanic mini-man, we’d also like to divert your attention to the real news at hand here:

There was a whole ‘lotta fashion uglyitis going on in Zurich last night. It was, perhaps, the craziest parade of clothes and coifs we’ve ever seen at a football awards gala.

We loathe ourselves every time we have something negative to say about somebody, but we’ve got a few things to get off our perky chests. We suspect the disagreeable gauntlet is ahead of us, so here goes nothing.

Image: AP Photo/Keystone, Alessandro Della Bella.

Gloomy winter weather doesn’t just put us in a bitchy frame of mind. It also messes with our metabolisms, hormones, libidos – in short, our well beings.

Nice to know Simone Farina‘s hair can relate.

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Image: AP Photo/Michael Probst.

It takes a very brave man to be seen in public wearing velour/velvet (or velourvet). Just ask Cristiano.

Will this suit jacket incident prove to be a blessing in disguise for Leo, giving him a huge boost in self-confidence and universal superstar appeal ala David Beckham’s sarong?

It’s a rhetorical question we genuinely don’t want answered.

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Image: FRANCK FIFE/AFP/Getty Images.

First one of Fergie’s buttons to pop wins!

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Image: FRANCK FIFE/AFP/Getty Images.

The laydeez were also out last night. Homare Sawa (Japan NT captain) won the FIFA Women’s World Player of the Year award and wore a cool ass kimono (not made out of velourvet).

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Image: Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images.

Lots of fringe. Lots of impact. Lots of fail.

Some combinations were meant to be; Neymar’s hair and our positive reinforcement not included.

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Image: Getty Images

Ah, the eighties… a span of 10 years that has so much to answer for. And yet, everyone’s going gaga for eighties’ style once again, with Ray-Ban Wayfarers and deck shoes in full retro effect. The one statement that decade failed to bring back into fashion?

The mullet.

Could it be, Kickettes? Was Shakira’s dress really the second coming of this once-popular hair don’t? Does anyone else want it to stop screaming ‘business in front, party in the back‘ at you like it’s still doing to us?

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Okay, okay. We’ll stop. Good on Messi for the win!

PS – read the full event recap here.

When it comes to flying first class in casual clothes, there were three distinct themes that a few Barcelona ‘ballers and their WAGs abided by during the all important procession in front of the paps this morning.

Options for you to pick from are below, with the question being: which of these couples’ looks best describes your own airport arrival style? Don’t forget, Kickettes, about the many perks (booze, food and beds) that come with the first class cabin’s territory. You should probably take these into consideration before choosing wisely.

A) Loose Layers For The Free Lunches With The Lady Leading The Way – Cristina & Pep Guardiola

B) Patterns, Patterns & More Pilot-Distracting Patterns! – Shakira & Gerard Pique

C) Spandex, Sneaker Heels & Stern Looks For Security: Leo Messi & Antonella Roccuzzo