'Fashion' Category

WAG Watch: Alex, Lilly-Ella and the Python Bag



WAG wannabes and poor people, take note.  This is what we are all aspiring to: being so giddy with wealth and designer products that you burst into fits of laughter at random moments in public.

imageAlex Curran-Gerrard hit WAG staple designer shop, Cricket, yesterday.  She parked up her £100,000 Mercedes C class AMG and rolled through to do some spending. She had a £1,500 Zagliani handbag on her arm and daughter Lilly-Ella made a fashion-heavy appearance. For those not in the know, Lilly-Ella is the best accessory one can possibly have in the presence of photographers as she is so cute she makes baby panda bears break out in angry welts of jealousy.

Alex was in high spirits and enjoyed chatting with her Cricket-assigned escort on the way back to her car. Wonder what she found so amusing? Perhaps he asked if he could borrow a fiver.

Alex didn’t mind the paparazzi photogs taking her photo (natch), and as per usual, received a parking ticket.

Side note: Alex’s handbag is made from python-skin and is injected with Botox to keep it soft and supple. You know, because it’s made from a dead reptile in need of moisturizing.

Looks like 2008 might see the crowning of a new queen – we’re thinking Alex is just one french-manicure away from taking Victoria Beckham’s title.

images courtesy of: Splash News/KEYSTONE Press

Beck Talk: Fruity and Freezing



A few thoughts/comments/observations from the Beckhams’ recent din-dins at the St. Alban resto.

- David’s silver stretchy armbands.  Do they serve some sort of tailoring purpose, or are they a tribute to the loss of someone who loved to disco?
- Victoria is in dire need of a winter coat.  And, for shoes that do not offend.
- It’s the triumphant return of Victoria’s bosoms! Welcome.
- David here: hot. NYE: luke-warm. Must be the waist-coat.
- The orchestrated pose of ‘closeness’ as per the car ride home. Do these look like natural hand positions?  Or are we missing “the grip” from our Guide to Lovers’ Hand Postures? Or, is our jealous/bitter/desperate need to put the grip on Sir Becks thigh of steely goodness showing again?


Style Off: New Year’s Eve Fashion


It’s David/Victoria Beckham vs Coleen McLoughlin/Wayne Rooney for our first style-off of the year.


The Beckhams had dinner at the nice but rather snore-worthy Claridges. In an ode to mimes and goths alike, Victoria appears to have used a corpse’s foundation for the evening out – la face isn’t matching la rest.  Hopefully a trick of the light and not of fashion – her shoes are fab as per norm.  David looks dapper, but surely a night meant for partying is not a night for a camel overcoat?  Perhaps the party days are over and a nice dinner is a great alternative, but how non-full of new year cheer are these two?  And what is going on with David’s barnett? 

Although Wayne’s jeans don’t fill us up with love nor fashion appreciation, the McRooney’s looked rather decent this NYE at a party at Endz Newz nightclub in Liverpool. Sure, Coleen looks a tad ridunk with that massive bag rather than a more delicate clutch, but the fringe is cute and we like winter white… also, Coleen looks like an actual human, which scores points in our books. 

Who works the party look better, Kickettes?  Is it even possible for the McRooney’s to take out the Beckhams in the style stakes?

Top 5 WAG Fashion Disasters of 2007


As we look back on 2007 with fond champagne-soaked memories of sneaking into player’s lounges with hidden cameras inside our push-up bras, stalking the Beckhams over several continents and shopping until our stilettos turned to dust, we are 1. in need of a detoxifying vacay, and 2. ready to address our favourite fashion road kill moments of the year.

With so many to choose from, this was not an easy task, but it’s important to give back to the ladies who inspire us daily to do better, shop better, be better… consumers.

Below, our top five WAG fashion disasters of the year. 

image5. Call us old-fashioned, but we prefer that people remember the bottom halves of their outfits when leaving the house.  For this reason alone, Victoria Beckham’s choice of attire for the Glamour awards is on the list. 

Throw in fingerless motorcycle gloves and a teensy weensy pointless white tux shrug and we’re done. 

Do not fall for the high fashion argument, Kickettes.  Take a moment to imagine heading out the door to the red carpet wearing only a corset and a pair of ‘taupe’ tights.

Feel the breeze rattling around your nethers whilst walking to the stage to collect your award.  Feel the anguish of your ancestors turning in their graves in shame. 

image4. Coleen McLoughlin is the WAG for the people.  The girl-next-door turned multi-gazzilionairess, whom we all adore. 

And sometimes the pressure of being so bloody wealthy and having so many parties to attend and designer shoes to choose from can make you go a little doolally. 

The first sign of crazy always is the hair. 

Within 24 hours of debuting the bouffant- that- looks- like- crazy- on- a- dark- night, Coleen had intelligently washed, rinsed, repeated and blow dried back to standard. 

But still. 

image3. It took us by surprise, it did.  Toni Poole’s wedding dress was unlike nothing we had ever seen, nor imagined for the lovely now-Mrs. Terry. 

But obviously, when one has suffered for their cash prize to the extent that Toni has, the choice to make a declaration of such decorative outrageousness has to be respected.

The dress inspired one of our favourite reader comments: “TONI. OMG. WHY are you wearing something that looks like it belongs in a woman’s uterus?“ 

After spending three times the national debt on your dress, is that the lingering memory you would want your wedding guests to have?  Perhaps.

image2. Heading off to St. Tropez for a mini-break from your terribly taxing non-job? 

Take your cue from Alex Curran-Gerrard and make sure you pack the following staple items:

St. Tropez fake bake to top up the real tan, lip gloss, your nail extension specialist and your chartreuse elasticated waist leisure suit for making many grannies by the pool seethe with jealousy.

Oh, how we wish that underneath those semi-flared trouser legs, Alex was sporting a lovely pair of flesh-coloured court shoes rather than sandals.  Would have set this off to perfection.

1. Of course, there can only be one winner – and indeed, there can only be one WAG at the top of the heap of designer cast-offs and outfits no other sane human with functioning eyes would wear:


Elen Rives, without you, there would be no joy in this world.  Without you, there would be no way for us to know, without question, that wearing ruffled kneesocks is never an option we can pursue and still love ourselves in the morning.

Agree? Disagree? Blinded by Alex’s jumpsuit?  Fill us in.

Men in Tights: Frank Lampard



Personally, we think fancy dress parties are the tools of the devil, but to each his own.

Case in point: Frank Lampard in white fishnets. In a public forum.

Frank and his fiancée, Elen Rives went seriously vintage for the Chelsea Christmas party at Stamford Bridge. We think Elen would make a much better Lady Macbeth than Marie Antoinette, but that said, she does look rather swell in that getup, no?

Perhaps it’s just a case of being born in the wrong century. It happens.

More pics after the jump.