'Fashion' Category

Back Talk At Chanel

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Dita Von Teese, Karl Lagerfeld, Victoria Beckham and Claudia Schiffer at the Chanel Spring/Summer ‘08 show, Paris.

Victoria:  Thank God I’m the skinniest one in this photo.

Karl: Barely, darling. And only because I am wearing these gloves. These gloves, they make me look five, maybe fifty pounds heavier. Without them, I am light as a feather. You must believe this: I am air floating on a chiffon maxi length bias cut of starvation.

Dita: These levels of natural light are extremely disturbing.  Can we get to our seats?

Claudia: I’m so happy to still be relevant.  What was I worried about? Of course Karl was going to call me back, eventually. It’s all about perseverance. If it takes 450 calls in the space of three days, so be it.

Dita: *sigh* I am so much better than this.

Victoria: Dits, babe? No one is better than Chanel.  It’s factual.  Deal.

Karl: Oh, she is feeling, how you say, miffed that I did not ask her to do my catwalk this year. But I have to think of my clientele, none of whom aspire to look like a transparent 1950s vampiress. And this is not to say I do not adore the style of the transparent, translucent, Transylvania glamour. J’adore! But this aversion to the sun and tanning, I cannot deal with. Nor should I have to.  For me, it is disgusting.

Claudia:  Is that Naomi over there? Hey girl! Long time!  Oh… I guess she didn’t see me.

Victoria: Karl, you promised no supermodels in my photo call. What the hell is she doing here? She used to date David bloody Copperfield.

Dita: And, she smells like carbs to me.

Karl: Victoria, Dita, stop.  Fashion is a world of contradictions, embellishments and couture fabrics woven by starving school children in far away lands I can’t be bothered to look up on a map.  It is one where we embrace the differences and bring together the tweeds and the silks, the satins and the suedes…

Victoria: Are you saying I’m a tweed? Just because I’m from England doesn’t make me tweed, Karl.  I want to be silk.  Or at least a rayon blend.

Karl: I never said you were a tweed.  Did I say those words, Victoria, you are a tweed? No. I did not. 

Claudia: Linda Evangelista! Over here! Hey! Yoo hoo!  Look at this pose – I’ve still got it bitches.

All: God, I would kill for a cheeseburger.

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Ugged Up: Coleen McLoughlin

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BFF: Alex Curran and Katie Price

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Alex Curran and Katie Price (otherwise known as Jordan) partied in London this weekend at the Sin Club.

Best mates, united in alcohol, big hair and St. Tropez fake bake. Sweet.

 

 

Friendship Files: Victoria Beckham

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It’s almost as good as peace in the Middle East: Victoria Beckham and Naomi Campbell look set to end their warring ways and become BFF. 

We’re wondering who Victoria’s closest friends actually are.  We know she’s tight with her sister and Katie Holmes, but is the Jennifer Lopez BFF love on or off? Last we heard, Victoria was pissed that J didn’t show up to the big LA Beckham welcoming party and as a snub, didn’t go to Jennifer’s Sweetface catwalk show during New York Fashion Week.

Also, apparently last year Posh was overheard drunkenly discussing the size of J-Lo’s arse to her mates at Claridges.  But then we also heard that Jennifer wants to tour with the Spice Girls because she loves them/Victoria (we believe that rumour to be absolute shite – how could Jenny from the block be second to anyone on a billing?)

But back to Naomi. 

For several years the two have been in some sort of feud that allegedly started when Naomi asked Victoria why anyone would call her Posh. Victoria later called her a “massive cow”. And so begins the years of strife and bitterness, according to the tabs.  That said, we do seem to remember a ‘make up’ sess a while back, with the pair holding hands at a fashion evenzzzzzzzzzz.

Naomi recently gone on record saying she would like Victoria to be at her Fashion For Relief show to aid victims of the recent flooding in the UK and has also been rocking sunnies from the DVB line every day all day. They must be mates again! Hurrah.

Alas, there is no event being held to aid the victims of those who witnessed Victoria Beckham’s dress inspired by bloated green Post-it notes (those rumours you’ve been hearing about Marc Jacobs’ losing his freaking mind? We’re thinking they’re true).  Seriously, look at the facial expressions of the people in the background of these photos. Do they look like they’ll be recovering their vision anytime soon?

Side note: Don’t you lurve how David always opens the car door for V?

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The Screwface: Victoria Beckham

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Victoria Beckham has recently been spotted at some of the NY Fashion Week shows.

What could have caused such a reaction at the Marc Jacobs’ catwalk?  We’re thinking something truly offensive must have been on the runway, like a carb.  Or possibly flat shoes.