'Fashion' Category

Pele v Beckham: Pop Star Training

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Footie legend Pele has a few choice words for David Beckham regarding his lifestyle in LA, and they don’t center around Becks’ new hairdo.

“David Beckham is more of a pop star than a player. From my experience with New York Cosmos, I would advise him to be very well prepared for the matches.

“I know the level of play in the league. It is well balanced, and the spectators will demand a lot from him as their star player. But when there’s no training or practice, then he can stroll through Hollywood… David must be the one to lift the sport. He must give the right answers on the pitch, that is not Victoria’s business.“

We’re not too concerned with David’s ‘pop star’ lifestyle – when he is fit to train he will, and he’s never been one to shy away from hard work. 

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Questioning Coleen McLoughlin’s Trousers

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A simple question, Coleen,

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Pourquoi?

Please do tell: why are your trousers so bloody long?

Why doth they draggeth along the pavement, collecting dust, scraps and squirrels?

Yes, a clean, unbroken line can make your legs look longer.  And sure, when you spend £600 on a pair of slacks you shouldn’t have to do anything to them, they should come perfectly formed and perfectly tailored. But such is life. Life is not always fair.

And so, we ask, again: why?









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images: celebutopia & thefashionspot

Steven & Alex: The Wedding Photos

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Oh, how we have waited.  And waited. And then waited some more for these photos.

The blessed Steven Gerrard and Alex Curran wedding photos.  Or, in other words, the photos by which all WAG wedding photos will forever be judged.

They do not disappoint, but are surprising in their subtlety.  Although, obviously WAG subtlety is a universe unto itself..  Alex’s Ellie Saab dress is literally the “night of 19,000 Swarovski crystals covered in sparkling diamond dust and the sweat of a thousand child labourers working from sun up to sun down to create”. 

But, you know… it’s kind of nice in a pageantry, barbie kind of way.  We hate the hair, though.  When will women learn that your wedding is not the time to experiment with bouffy, hard, helmet-like styles?  Note the frozen smiles of hate on the bridesmaids who had 18 layers of Aquanet and a rolled up sock in their hair.  Our wedding hair advice: go with you, but with cleaner, slightly more stylish hair, and you’re good.

For more photos, pick up a copy of OK! magazine.

Thanks to xrachulvsgerrardx & Miss Fairy Tale for the scans.
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Bikini Watch: Cheryl Cole

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Nothing says class like an orange animal print string bikini, a big ole thigh tatt of a treble clef and a champagne cocktail. 

The hat’s kinda cute ‘tho.

Cheryl Cole is vacationing with hubby Ashley in Marbella. Obviously they were exhausted from all the lap dancing, fish ‘n chip eating and Lionel Richie heckling and had to make a quick getaway.  On the way to the airport the two were seen having a heated argument – we’re going to go out on a limb and make the assumption that they were fighting over who got to wear the cute hat on vacay.

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Mr. and Mrs: The Terrys Pt 2

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Frank Lampard (minus Elen), John Terry and the now Toni Terry, Louise and Jamie Redknapp

From this week’s OK! Magazine, here are a few selected pics from John Terry and Toni Poole’s wedding.

The fashion breakdown:  Cheryl Cole wore Chloe, Coleen McLoughlin wore see-through Pucci, Carly Zucker wore Lanvin and Ralph Lauren, and bride Toni wore some sort of sequin beaded meringue confectioners ball gown by couturier Steven Hakes.

It has 12,000 beads and she accessorized with Jimmy Choo shoes. We initially thought we liked it, thought we admired Toni’s choice to wear gold on her wedding day.  Gold accessorized with extensive amounts of plumage.  Good on you, Toni, we thought.

But then the excitement of the moment wore off, we realized we had forgotten to put in our contacts this morning, and when we did, we saw the truth.  And it was not good.  But her choice was better than her husband wearing a goldenrod suit to his wedding, so there you have it.

Dress designer Hakes says: “Toni wanted something unique rather than traditional so it ended up being a very rock and roll dress.“

No, wait. We’ve changed our minds.  The ‘rock and roll’ dress.  Lionel Richie.  The lap straddling lap dancing gyrations of the groom (see below).  The insane OTT insanity of it all.  We love it.  Nice job, The Terrys.  Who needs class when you’re this rich?

Thanks to the fabulous StevieJt at Miss Fairy Tale for scanning these photos until she couldn’t scan no ‘mo.

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