Elen Rives is our shopping idol. She. Can. Not. Be. Stopped. This time she’s out with mother-in-law, Pat, hitting the shops in London.
Sherree Murphy, Nicola Carragher, Justine Mills (owner of designer boutique Cricket), Coleen McLoughlin, Alex Curran and Abi Clancy
Justine: Listen up bitches, I don’t want any of these clothes returned to the shop with beer, lipstick or other unidentified stains on them. I’m looking at you, Clancy.
Abi: Whatever, Justine. I’m skinnier than you and fabulously happy. Look how fabulously happy I look.
Alex: I’m the fabulously happy star here. I know it. You know it. Even with my bloated carb face, I am the queen. No one else can wear an aubergine set of drapes like this.
Sheree: Stop fighting girls, this is Coleen’s night.
Alex: Oh, go back to your typist job at Manpower, Sheree. This is a party, not a gathering around the water cooler.
Sheree: I’m wearing Chloe, darling, which trumps your Philip Armstrong fabric concoction. By the way, have you seen my husband’s bottom? It’s like a peach, I promise you.
Alex: Stop touching me Abi. Stop trying to push your way into the picture.
Abi: I wouldn’t have to touch you if you’d give me a little space. Stop bogarting the pose.
Alex: I swear, if I had hands, I would scratch your eyes out.
Justine: Speaking of hands Nicola, yours are making me uncomfortable.
Coleen: I would kill for a cheeseburger. Maybe I can get Wayne to make a run to Mickey-D’s.
God, we love this kid.
At what point do you think he’ll realise it’s his mother courting the paparazzi? Here’s a clue, Brooklyn: she’s wearing insane boots and no bra. Good luck, kiddo.
Still handling the well-timed paparazzi invasion like a pro, Victoria Beckham took to the skies yesterday to do some ski para gliding.
She’s in Courchevel, France, a long-time family favourite for vacations. Her father, Tony and oldest son Brooklyn have joined her.
Important detail: Victoria is wearing Chanel skis.
In other news, David fixed his hair.
Beckham explained to GMTV why it happened:
“Well, I needed a change. I think I’ve had the same haircut for two years now and I was getting slightly bored. You know it’s part of something that I do”.
Sometimes we have to sit back and think: we’re changing the world with our intellectually challenging, life changing reportage on key events happening worldwide.
Thanks to Cate for the David hair tip.