In the most important news story of the year, Victoria Beckham has gone blonde.
And we hate it.
Actually, the cut, we like, the colour we no likey.
Those of you with real lives may have missed the recent debate taking place in the world of fashion over super skinny runway models. Several designers and people in the biz have called for an outright ban to try and bring a halt to the unrealistic images portrayed to women by a model who weighs the same as a bread stick.
Madrid fashion week was the first to place a ban on the super slim, although we sure don’t remember seeing any big fatties hitting the catwalk afterwards, but it’s the well-publicized thought that counts, right? Weight requirements, for those interested in such things? Models that are 5’8” must weigh at least 8.6 stone (123 pounds).
But let us get to the point.
Victoria Beckham, she of the soccer ball waist, has reportedly banned size zero models from promoting her fashion label. A source was quoted in the Sun UK, as saying, “Victoria wants to give out a positive image that you don’t have to be ultra skinny to look good. Many of the models on the catwalk make young girls feel insecure about their own bodies.“
She does realise this would mean she wouldn’t actually hire herself for this gig, right? Rumours are that Daniella Sarahyba, a “curvy” Brazilian model, has been chosen by Mrs B to best represent the “realness”.
Stories are circulating that Victoria B has been snubbed by her good mate Liz Hurley. Apparently she’s been taken off the guest list for Liz’s upcoming nuptials to some random dude in March. Wasn’t Victoria supposed to be a bridesmaid for this thing? It could just be a case of a Bridezilla attack, but something is definitely amiss.
In fact, this is the second high profile friendship of the Beckhams that appears to be falling apart. Last year, Elton John (Godfather to Brooklyn and Romeo) blathered on about the Beckhams becoming freeloaders, and Elton’s partner, David Furnish has admitted they rarely speak anymore.
Anyone still unsure about David Beckham’s ability to break into the American public’s psyche? Let’s see what happens after an interview he’s doing with CBS will be broadcast during the Superbowl on February 4. Audience numbers in North America for this miniscule, teeny tiny event on the American Football calendar will hit 80 million plus. That’s a whole ‘lotta drunk, sports lovin’, chip eatin’ men, women and children open to discovering the dolcet charms of the Becks.
Milan Fashion week, at the John Richmond A/W 2007 show.
We have Moran Atias, model and host of the Israeli Deal or No Deal, seated next to
Coolio, ex-crackhead and rapper who had last had a record in the charts in the nineties, seated next to
Inter Milan’s Marco Materazzi, known as “The Matrix” to his team mates, due to his “complex mind”.
Moran: Who let these ghastly men-fools into this show? I am a serious media person of some kind. I was promised at least a seat next to someone my mother would recognise on television.
Coolio: West Siiiide! Represent homies! Throwing up the big W for the West Siiiide!
Materazzi: I say to you, strange man making a W with your hand, I say that you are a slave. Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch. A prison for your mind. This is the matrix.
Coolio: M*****F***** what did you just say? Did you just call me a slave? I’m from Compton and I’ll mess your I-talian ass up, for real!
Materazzi: Choice is an illusion, created between those with power, and those without… When Zidane gave me that head butt, he thought he was making a choice, but he had none to make. It was the illusion of the choices made by the powerful illusionists… ooh I like that trouser suit!
Moran: Has someone been smoking some wacky tobaccy? I just washed my hair, people.
Materazzi: It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied.
Coolio: As soon as this camera stops taking pictures I’m gonna mess this sucker up. This is the last time I accept a free trip to Italy, man. What was I thinking. I should have just taken up that offer to do a Gangsters Paradise Pt 2 Remix with Kevin Federline.