Kickette.com – Soccer/football gossip, hot players, WAGs that love them

WAG watch: Cricket, Liverpool

The WAGs were out in full force for the Cricket boutique fashion show, held at the glamorous Liverpool Town Hall. Milan ain’t got nothing on the LTH, trust us.

Cricket is a serious WAG staple shop where the Northern gals get all their designer shopping on. Abbey Clancy and Sophie Anderton even did some catwalk modelling on the night.

Representing for those who know how to spend their man’s money: Sheree Murphy, Alex Curran, Kelly Ellison, Coleen McLoughlin

Sheree: Why are the girls acting as if they don’t know me? Is it because I’m dressed in a gigantic deflated onion skin? Maybe it’s because I’ve got this bottle of water…

Alex: Why the F does Sheree have a bottle of water? Does it look like we’re at the goddamn gym? I hope the photogs crop her out of these photos. I’m the star here.

Coleen: Oof, I’m drunk.

Alex: I’m the best looking one in here, why does that skank Abbey get to do the catwalk? Why didn’t they ask me? Is it because my hands are a different colour than my face? No, that couldn’t be it, I’m fabulous.

Kelly: Do I look old? I look old, dunn I?

Coleen: *sigh* I miss Wayne.

Kelly: Everyone is so young and pretty. I need more eye makeup.

Alex: Do you think it’s easy to look like a sexy robotic 1950s hooker/housewife in a dress made of tinsel? Do you? Why does no one ever listen to me?

Coleen: *sigh* I love gum.

Alex: Is there any alcohol in this drink?

Sheree: It’s because I have a job. That’s why they don’t like me. And for your information, Alex, I could drink you under the table, sweetheart.

Kelly: Everyone else is with a footballer. My man is Steven G’s part-time bodyguard. How wank is that? I really blew it. I know Alex is my best friend and all, but sometimes I fantasize about putting Nair in her shampoo bottle.

ronaldo watch: the man bag

This photo of Mr. Ronaldo offers much fashion food for thought.

The man bag.

The lizard belt.

The jeans that seem just a little too tight, even for our liking.

The man bag.

Wait, we already said that.

Cristiano, honey, we know you’re a buff piece of Eurotrash, but you need to fix up.  We can help.  Call us.  We’re on the speed dial, under “F” for “fashion crimes against hotties”.

photo friday: victoria beckham

- Hanging out in Paris with Katie Holmes on a “kid free” girly day shopping. Is it just us, or is this friendship more disturbing than seeing a WAG with a job?

image: abacausa

- In Australian Harpers Bazaar.

photos: the fashion spot

cristiano goes shopping

Cristiano Ronaldo = we like.
Louis Vuitton = we love.
Put them together and it’s a good day.

His sidekick in the background = we do not know, we do not care to speculate.

Sidekick has his own admirers, however: Cristiano Out For A Little Shopping

Link: Cristiano Ronaldo Likes His Jeans Tight

The Beckhams: Bulleted

Another day, another 800 news items on the Beckhams.

Our love of the Becks is unfounded, but this calls for a rapid fire bullet summary, oh yes.

- The pool in their French villa has collapsed.

- This French villa has chandeliers in the bathroom.

- This is the same villa rumoured to be haunted.

- Victoria says the assumption that her behind was J-Lo’d digitally in their perfume ad is untrue.

- She just “stuck it out.“

- Oh, how she doth lie to us.

- She cut her hair as a ceremonious changing of the guard as the Queen of WAGs stepping down after hubby David resigned the captaincy.

- Victoria struggled to keep up with the WAGs at the World Cup because she’s older than them.

- Are we still talking about this?

- She also hates one of the WAGs.

- But won’t say which one.

- But we can guess.

- This is because a certain WAG got pissed off at Victoria’s son Brooklyn.
- Brooklyn suffers from motion sickness and the communal World Cup bus that takes families to the games had to keep pulling over so he could throw up.

- What the f*ck is Victoria Beckham doing on a communal bus?

- Aren’t they for peasants and livestock?

- Apparently all of the Becks’ kids suffer from motion sickness.

- Victoria’s perfume is outselling her husband’s cologne by 66%

- David’s favourite fragrance: “The smell of Victoria when she’s gotten out of the shower.“

- David says he loves Victoria so much he is building her an “infinity” maze in their English back garden.

- Victoria is currently in NYC for New York fashion week.

- David is watching the kids back in Spain.

- Her use of the trilby hat is to disguise an “acne” attack.

- Unlike WAGs forced to ride a communal bus, acne doesn’t discriminate.

- Victoria says David was “heartbroken” when he wasn’t picked for the England squad.

- She also thinks he is much sexier than her.

- “I always say to David, you’re naturally so talented and good looking, so much more so than me.“

- Well, duh.