- Hanging out in Paris with Katie Holmes on a “kid free” girly day shopping. Is it just us, or is this friendship more disturbing than seeing a WAG with a job?
- In Australian Harpers Bazaar.
photos: the fashion spot
Cristiano Ronaldo = we like.
Louis Vuitton = we love.
Put them together and it’s a good day.
His sidekick in the background = we do not know, we do not care to speculate.
Sidekick has his own admirers, however: Cristiano Out For A Little Shopping
Our love of the Becks is unfounded, but this calls for a rapid fire bullet summary, oh yes.
- The pool in their French villa has collapsed.
- This French villa has chandeliers in the bathroom.
- This is the same villa rumoured to be haunted.
- Victoria says the assumption that her behind was J-Lo’d digitally in their perfume ad is untrue.
- She just “stuck it out.“
- Oh, how she doth lie to us.
- She cut her hair as a ceremonious changing of the guard as the Queen of WAGs stepping down after hubby David resigned the captaincy.
- Victoria struggled to keep up with the WAGs at the World Cup because she’s older than them.
- Are we still talking about this?
- She also hates one of the WAGs.
- But won’t say which one.
- But we can guess.
- This is because a certain WAG got pissed off at Victoria’s son Brooklyn.
- Brooklyn suffers from motion sickness and the communal World Cup bus that takes families to the games had to keep pulling over so he could throw up.
- What the f*ck is Victoria Beckham doing on a communal bus?
- Aren’t they for peasants and livestock?
- Apparently all of the Becks’ kids suffer from motion sickness.
- Victoria’s perfume is outselling her husband’s cologne by 66%
- David’s favourite fragrance: “The smell of Victoria when she’s gotten out of the shower.“
- David says he loves Victoria so much he is building her an “infinity” maze in their English back garden.
- Victoria is currently in NYC for New York fashion week.
- David is watching the kids back in Spain.
- Her use of the trilby hat is to disguise an “acne” attack.
- Unlike WAGs forced to ride a communal bus, acne doesn’t discriminate.
- Victoria says David was “heartbroken” when he wasn’t picked for the England squad.
- She also thinks he is much sexier than her.
- “I always say to David, you’re naturally so talented and good looking, so much more so than me.“
- Well, duh.
What kind of uglyitis fashion abomination is occuring in this photograph?
It’s like a cross between Edward Scissorhands, Alice in Wonderland, goth tragedy and cabaret. It’s like the worst thing we’ve ever seen.
Initially we were bemused by Colleen baby-WAG McLoughlin’s foray into fashion with ASDA. Now, we’re just plain terrified. And we want it to stop. Now.
We’re refusing to put on any more clothes until Victoria Beckham’s “That Extra Half An Inch – Hair, Heels and Everything In Between” is released.
In fact, without her words of wisdom about skinny jeans and wedge heels, it’s just too risky to leave the house.
Until October 30, we’ll make due with the advance blurbs:
“I was never the six-foot tall pin-up. I’ve always been the girl next door who got lucky.”
Have truer words ever been spoken?
“I’ve come a long way in the last 10 years, but this book isn’t my attempt to tell you what or what not to do. It’s just to share some of what I’ve learned.”
“I’ve always been a girls’ girl. And I know from experience that making the very best of yourself is something any woman can do.”