What kind of uglyitis fashion abomination is occuring in this photograph?
It’s like a cross between Edward Scissorhands, Alice in Wonderland, goth tragedy and cabaret. It’s like the worst thing we’ve ever seen.
Initially we were bemused by Colleen baby-WAG McLoughlin’s foray into fashion with ASDA. Now, we’re just plain terrified. And we want it to stop. Now.
Oh, waiting for the release of this book is worse than Christmas when you’ve been good all year.
We’re refusing to put on any more clothes until Victoria Beckham’s “That Extra Half An Inch – Hair, Heels and Everything In Between” is released.
In fact, without her words of wisdom about skinny jeans and wedge heels, it’s just too risky to leave the house.
Until October 30, we’ll make due with the advance blurbs:
“I was never the six-foot tall pin-up. I’ve always been the girl next door who got lucky.”
Have truer words ever been spoken?
“I’ve come a long way in the last 10 years, but this book isn’t my attempt to tell you what or what not to do. It’s just to share some of what I’ve learned.”
“I’ve always been a girls’ girl. And I know from experience that making the very best of yourself is something any woman can do.”
England boss Steve McClaren is celebrating his first victory as new team boss. England trounced Greece 4-0, with goals by newly appointed captain, John Terry, Frank Lampard (hope he’s exorcised those World Cup demons), and Peter Crouch (goals 2, cocaine snorting breast-flashing, unfaithful girlfriends – 0). John Terry says that David Beckham sent him a text message wishing him good luck, and that it was a dream come true to have a result like that.
Colleen McLoughlin has revealed her top fashion tips for the new season:
“Invest in a quality handbag, shoes and belt. Buy items that match different trends, like the leopard print bag, rather than spending all your money on one look.“ She also hypes gold and lurex as “really glam”.
Pregnancy rumours are flying around Victoria Beckham, but their reps refuse to confirm or deny. The timing of their recent “love boat” action seems too soon for anyone to know surely? Tabloids are saying Victoria’s recent wardrobe choices of “baggy” tops are a dead giveaway.
Link: Why Looking Like Posh is a Curse
Bayern Munich aren’t interested in Manchester United’s offer for midfielder Owen Hargreaves, even though he has said he would love to return to the English Premiership.
Burberry Creative Director, Christopher Bailey, is rumoured to have been given a talking to after spending paparazzi face-time hanging out with Victoria Beckham recently.
It’s said that the label has worked very hard recently to rid itself of the dreaded “chav” images associated with Burberry since every tracksuit-wearing, sovereign ring rocking gel-head began sporting their hats, scarves and jackets. The damage the WAGs did at the World Cup continues to rock the fashion world – many labels are straight up freaking out if a footballers’ wife touches their stuff and gets photographed with it.
Mrs B isn’t seen to be the “right” sort of woman to be wearing their clothes.
On skinny jeans: “The problem with skinny jeans is if you wear them with flat shoes, like flip-flops or trainers, you end up looking like a golf club.“
On knickers and lingerie: “I hate those silly lacy bras with all those bits poking out beneath your top. You end up looking like you have four breasts.“
On wearing wedge heels: “Some wedges are great but you can look like your feet are encased in cement.“
More from her new book, “That Extra Half an Inch” when it hits the shops in the fall.