'France' Category

French NT: Stretching On UK Soil


Yoann thinks he can hear the thunder of Louboutins in the distance. Little does he know… (Images via fff.fr)

Good news, Kickettes! The French national team have arrived in London for Wednesday’s friendly with England at Wembley and immediately repaired to the Arsenal training ground to undertake some stretching exercises. We feel that they are taking the prospect of facing the UK Corps of the Kickette Army with sufficient caution and preparedness.

However, the eagle eyed among you will note the presence of a popular new training technique for underachieving sides skulking in the corner of this photo.

At least we can be certain that the game will be competitive. If only for the arguing between the English and French boys over who gets to utilise the big balls.

Euro 2012 Qualifier Results


Sergio kisses it better? In our world, yes.

We’d like to say that the above photo is indicative of the international spirit of football and manlove characterising last night’s Euro 2012 qualifiers. And while Spain vs. Scotland was nearly a triumph of David and Goliath proportions, like the photo, the truth is somewhat different. There was little successful football played and the manlove was pretty thin on the ground too. Still, with true Kickette spirit, we soldier on. Pfffththhh.


Mathieu Valbuena: Bad, Bad Barnet


Apparently C-Ron isn’t the only player with aspirations towards East Coast ineptitude. Here is French NT and Marseille player Mathieu Valbuena, sporting what we can only describe as a ‘startled DJ Pauly D’ on his head. Looks like it’s gonna be a while before you’re getting your Jersey Shore GTL on, Mathieu!

Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet


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The England NT warmed our hearts and loins all weekend long.


- While away on international duty, England stars Steven Gerrard, Joleon Lescott, Shaun Wright-Philips and Ashley Young took time out from training to visit the children’s Ward of Watford General Hospital. See also: Joe Hart smiling, jagerbombing – two activities which, in our opinions, added further value to his hot stock.

- By the way, should you be a UK resident who is interested in seeing Hart’s on-pitch antics, along with the rest of the ENT as the squad squares off against France, mosey on over to UMBRO’s Facebook page for your chance to win a trip to Wembley on 17th November.

Noelia Lopez Guti Arantxa de Benito- There apparently was a rather awkward encounter in Madrid late Friday/early Saturday, involving Guti, his girlfriend/ex-girlfriend Noelia Lopez and his ex-wife, Arantxa de Benito. Despite confirming how she and Goots broke off their romance last week, Lopez and Guti attended the Juan Pena concert together. Things were said to be tense, though, once Arantxa’s Shakira-wannabe hips began obstructing her personal space. Nevertheless, the on/off couple left in the same car, so who the hell knows what’s going on anymore?!

- Stuart Holden, of the Bolton Wanderers, took his shirt off Saturday night post-USMNT duty.


Weekend Results: Euro 2012 Qualifiers


Kickettes! Pay attention! Taking into account last Friday’s homework assignment, we realise there’s a distinct possibility that many of you will be inhabiting Kickette Island in your head for the foreseeable future and not concentrating on important business matters. We more than anyone understand the lure, so have decided to ease you into a new (and busy) footie week with a round up of the essential Euro 2012 qualifier results.

This way, upon arrival at work you can pretend you have spent a productive weekend following the action, and not constructing elaborate fantasies involving sand and hairbraiding. You’re welcome!