Karim Benzema & Franck Ribery. Taking one for the team? Images: Reuters via Daylife, pacificcoastnews via Zimbio
Most of the time, pretending that footballers are scrummy bundles of loveliness works for us. Admittedly, sometimes maintaining this vision demands some evasive action (mainly involving sitting under the duvet with our hands over our ears singing la-la-la-la when certain tabloid newspapers are published) but largely the illusion remains intact.
However, on some occasions the level of skank involved is such that even we are forced to admit defeat.
As we all know, the news involving Bayern Munich’s Franck Ribery and Real Madrid’s Karim Benzema is one such affair. If you’ve been making like us and hiding in the corner shaking, let us furnish you with the deets you may have missed. We then recommend that (like us), you eat a whole tub of ice cream while studying this image in order to restore your equilibrium.
Much like her extra-spectacular half, our adoration for Mrs. Francesco Totti is timeless and will annoyingly, never fade. Exposed nipples and allergic reactions aside, no one can discount Ilary’s rockin’ post-2-babies body.
Which, ironically enough, is also the main reason why we are pleading with Ilary to finally take out her belly button ice. This is not a “fresh trend” that even an anti-aging toned tummy has the ability to revive. We think it’s about time for her to leave the body candy to the next rowdy bunch of trend-setting tweens so she can preserve her unWAGgy aesthetics at all costs. (Yes, Miley, that means you. Head Shave 2020-watch is on like Donkey Kong).
But, hear ye, hear ye – we’re not hatin’ on all uses of abdomen accessories. Many moons ago most of us at Kickette HQ had the familiar experience of downing too many pints before letting some bloke named “Jazz” stick a needle in our navals. Shocking, we know. However, when it comes to happily-married WAGs over 30, we prefer to just.say.no.
The moral of this rant is that Ilary, her belly bling and kids Cristian and Chanel, played on the Cali beach earlier this week. We regretfully inform you that Il Capitanowas noticeably absent, unlike the last time when he was distinctly present.