
Sailing cheerily over the waves of misery the rest of the press are drowning in, we only pretend to understand stuff like dodgy defensive play and wasted possession. Why should we bother to rehash the mechanics of a straightforward draw when we can wonder aloud whether Sami Nasri’s “ssshhh” gesture was aimed at us because we laughed at his pants?
A gallery featuring our POV of France’s 1-1 draw with En-ger-land is being prepared as we write, but don’t cut off oxygen to your brains anytime soon. The gallery software we’re grappling with still hates us y’see, and the feeling is rapidly becoming mututal.

Image: REUTERS/Charles Platiau.
We have a renewed sense of faith and confidence in England’s squad going into today’s Group D match and it has everything to do with this French trio’s use of Pampers diapers as vests.

Images: REUTERS/Juan Medina; AFP.
Airplanes around Europe are trembling under the weight of hair gel and headphones right now as the national teams, fully prepared for battle, make their way to Poland and Ukraine. The staff at Galileo Galilei International in Pisa were on an especially high, Mario-Balotelli-is-in-the-building alert yesterday, but the striker seemed in a good mood and managed to get through customs without having any of his hats seized.
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With our HQ in full “TWO DAYS TO GO OMIGOD WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?!” Euro 2012 mode, it seems about right that some of the more notable footballer partners come out of the woodwork for a photoshoot or two.
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Images: Getty.
Eight days of us lying in waiting to go ’till the Euros commence and yet the hotties are dropping like flies.
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