Image via his Facebook page. Nice spot, @Philby1976.
This photo right here?
It’s one of our “grab if the building’s on fire” possessions.
George Lucas didn’t spend billions of dollars on laser beam technology for Star Wars on a whim, y’know. The man knew that exciting zappy type things are appealing to most boys (and the occasional Kickette staffer), and when Nike released their new NT kits last month, they proved that 35 years has not dented the laser’s appeal in the slightest.
But how to reach the new demographic of football – the visually stimulated, slightly pervy demographic that make up the majority of our readership? It isn’t as though we don’t tell everyone on an hourly basis, but we’re still supremely gratified to see that with their latest tranche of NT kits, they’ve taken our comments on board and focused on the crotch.
Our mates over at PasseenProfondeur.fr came to us with some interesting awards-related news this afternoon, and we felt guilty about keeping it all to ourselves. In a totally unscientific and systematically corrupt survey, Karim Benzema beat out his fellow internationals – namely Alou Diarra and Hugo Lloris – by a slim 19% majority to be crowned the sexiest French NT player by FirstAffair.fr.
A swingers-friendly website. Yes, it’s true. Look it up yourselves if you don’t believe us, but don’t be alarmed by the cheesy, soft core porn photos destined for the cover of Danielle Steel’s next novel that may pop up along the way.
Congrats, Karim…? We think?
With Sir Alex Ferguson and Roberto Mancini vigorously ploughing the Eden Hazard furrow and Harry Redknapp (or REDBAPPS as our cellphone autocorrect amusingly insists) flirting with Loic Remy, Ligue 1 is clearly going to be a heavy contributor to the EPL cause this summer.
And no British invasion of French soil would be complete without plunderer-in-chief Arsene Wenger, who is rumoured to be jones-ing for the services of Dijon midfielder Benjamin Corgnet and Montpellier’s Olivier Giroud.
We checked our editorial guidelines to see if we were obligated to run this video boasting a naked Neymar a mere two seconds in, and as it turns out, we are.
Being the kind of girls who pollute the environment with our every waking thought, we’re grateful Nike has picked up our slack. The kits they’ve designed for Brazil, France, USA and Australia are almost completely recycled and manufactured from an average of thirteen plastic bottles.
Which explains why none of these ‘ballers are perspiring in their new kits. Sweating like normal people is overrated, you see. Shooting laser beams from your midsection so it glows is not.