'France' Category

Lazy Links & Randoms

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John Terry’s bulge takes a hit from a schoolboy. That’s precious cargo, son! Watch where you’re aiming next time!

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Good Week/Bad Week: Babies & Big Mouths

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We never thought we’d see Joey Barton successfully accessorising a mauve pram with matching shoes. Anything is possible in this world, Kickettes. Image via twitter.

It’s been a week of political posturing, professional problems and puffy faces at Kickette.

And that’s just the staff.

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EURO 2012: An Accommodations Overview, France NT

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Any conflict in the camp will be resolved with a cerebral game of chess. Any conflict over the rules of chess will be resolved by throwing hideous wooden chairs at one another. Image: Alexander KHUDOTEPLY/AFP/Getty Images.

Our exciting new series continues with a ‘going over’ of the EURO 2012 facilities that await the French NT.

Based in Donetsk, the Kirsha Training complex was specifically designed for the use of Ukranian league champs Shakhtar, who by the looks of things, like upsetting shades of green.

More importantly, though, is the place player-proof? Let’s have a look, shall we?

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Kickette Fail Files: Marco Simone, AS Monaco FC

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Image: planete-asm.fr.

Retired Serie A footballer turned Ligue 2 club manager, Marco Simone, has the most interesting hairstyle – if “style” is even the right word to call it?

You think those haven’t-been-washed-in-weeks strands are all really his? Or is this the effed up work of a hair piece?

If Marco’s bedhead didn’t sprout from his own scalp, well then, he should look into getting a refund.

Like, immediately.

Eric Cantona: Ministry Material

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Eric Cantona, who has added the offices of poet and thespian to his CV since folding up his shorts, has reportedly taken steps to acquire the 500 mayoral signatures he needs to stand for France’s presidential vote this year.

However, French newspaper Liberation has subsequently stated that Eric’s intention is not to make it as far as the Elysee Palace (the official residence of the Prez), but  to draw attention to poor quality housing in the country. Figures indicate that some 3.5million people in France live in inadequate conditions.

It would be churlish to criticise the worthiness of his cause, but if this gig doesn’t work out, there’s always a space in our Ministry of Mmm (Greying But Still Grabbable Division) for Eric if he so desires.

Sorry – we just had to put it out there.