We’re sticking by our “friendlies are dangerous/unnecessary” stance since seeing some of England’s finest in their designer duds is hazardous to our health.
Which garment & glare style on the sidelines of yesterday’s friendly against Mexico whet your appetite? David Beckham’s buttoned blazer with bent brow; John Terry’s pleasantly plump pockets; Frank Lampard’s serious open shirt stance; or Steven Gerrard’s half-arse (but appreciated) attempt at his birthday suit?
Images via Hola! magazine, Getty Images Europe, GQ Sport magazine
Some sloppy WAGabee soiled our red velvet ropes over the weekend, allowing two ladies we’re not-so-thrilled about to bypass the “WAG Club” bouncers.
First, Iker Casillas and Sara “Pastasauce™” Carbonero played tonsil hockey in plain sight of the public, much to the disdain of our telly screens. Then, they were spotted hand.in.hand at the Alejandro Sanz concert.
While carbs are banned in our South Beach Diet-loving flats, and even though we formerly refused to accept her as one of our own, Pastasauce’s ability to withstand Iker’s dating ADD enabled her to swindle our clipboard gal into WAG Club main bar entrance.
Don’t worry, we’ve fired our internal failure. In the meantime, this no cover charge/no queues access bears no resemblance to an unrestricted Kickette WAG Club membership. Rather, Sara is on a probationary, VIP-exclusions basis, of course.
John Terry, John Terry’s short tent & Frank Lampard celebrate after Chelsea beat Portsmouth 1-0 at Wembley to lift the FA Cup and complete a historic league/cup double.
This sight (above) is becoming a little familiar, is it not? Barely a week after we provided you with innumerable happy snaps of Chelsea bubbas, ballers and exotic methods of drunken embarrassment prevention we’re obliged to go there again.
To be fair, Portsmouth winning the FA Cup after the season they have had would have been a fairy tale of epic proportions, but we feel their financial difficulties would have limited the after match celebrations to a couple of bottles of cheap white wine and a kebab.
Things were a little more ‘expensive’ for the Chelsea boys (and girls). After a celebratory open-topped bus celebration involving ill advised singing the team headed to poshola Knightsbridge restaurant Frankies and then to Whiskey Mist. It would appear that a good time was had by all.
Chelsea, we salute you. Again. Got anything in mind for next season?
- Cheryl Cole spoke to more! magazine, and revealed that she trusts “destiny and fate”, but not her hair. Chezza believes a bad hair day equals an all-around pissy day and went as far to say that she won’t leave the house if she’s worried about her hair. (Eds note: Except for this one time.) Head-against-the-wall type of statement to make if we’ve ever heard one.
- In April, Michael Ballack signed on to be the new face of L’Oreal’s Men Expert line, and thankfully we’ve not had to wait long to catch a glimpse of the Chelsea big man (literally – look at his nethers in those jeans) shilling shaving cream.
- Remember the Orlando Bloom dinner on offer at last week’s Arsenal charity dinner? Turns out skipper Cesc Fabregas was that auction’s highest bidder, and is gifting his winning prize to his sister, Carlota. Twenty other players gave £5,000 of their own money to the cause, helping to raise £450,000 at the gala for the Greater Ormond Street Children’s Hospital.
- Who knew Nicola T. and Helen F. were such good mates? The Corrie star, and girlfriend of Wigan’s Scott Sinclair, was seen out wearing a t-shirt from her fellow WAG’s clothing range, Delicious Couture.
- Sthefany Brito may have realised the untimely error of her prenup ways as she’s seeking monthly spousal support from Pato to the tune of €50,000. Monthly. As in, every 30 days. Sthef argues that she had to “give up her career” for the marriage; however, Pato’s lawyer, speaking on his behalf, is said to be fighting the fee since “seven months of marriage does not ruin a career”. Hmm. Whose side to take?
After approximately twenty first half minutes of nail biting tension, Chelsea FC stormed to the EPL title yesterday afternoon, putting eight past a 10-man Wigan Athletic at Stamford Bridge.
With the matter firmly out of Manchester United’s hands, a simple 1-0 would have sufficed for the Blues, but we like to think they had half an eye on the Kickette coverage and scored a cheery eight to maximise their goal celebration potential.
And maximise it they did.