Beckham aside (‘cos that’d be just too easy), who’s the best-looking MLS All-Star player? Is it classic Californian Dan Kennedy, wavy-haired Graham Zusi, steel-jawed Jay DeMerit, ab-tastic Heath Pearce, 2010 Cosmo bachelor Chris Pontius, bizarre fashion advisor Aurélien Collin or the perpetually-stylish Thierry Henry?
Rather than use our usual lengthy algorithms that take pitch prowess, chin dimples and astrology into consideration, we’ve gone old school and simply created a photo gallery of players who we believe will truly make this year’s All Star game a more beautiful thing.
Image: JOSEP LAGO/AFP/GettyImages.
Back to back Euro 2012 champion, Andres Iniesta, finally married his longtime girlfriend (and mother to his daughter, Valeria) Anna Ortiz over the weekend, Kickettes.
Like we didn’t see this one coming.
Enjoy a preview of the couple’s unofficial wedding album here.
Image: Marco Luzzani/Getty Images Europe.
The players of Parma are tireless pre-season torch bearers, paving the way for all squads returning to light domestic club training. These men undergo rigorous semi-commando scientific studies annually, testing oxygen equipment, ice baths and naturally made sources of water, in order to deem these devices safe and worthy of their peers’ use.
All hail their bouncing bulge on the beach, Kickettes. For they are tightly packaged, toned wonders to behold.
Image Credit: Nicole Jewell. Do a drive by of her site, Pass The Ham, when you can Kickettes – we’d both very much appreciate it.
Fellow pleasure seekers, we’re thrilled to report that one of our loyal Kickette Army soldier girls, Nicole Jewell, has opened up her private portfolio of Spanish NT parade pictures for you all to see.
On behalf of everyone in our close knit community, thank you Nicole. We love you like Alex Gerrard loves pleather pants and fawn-coloured eyebrows. We may even love you more than ‘ballers love their webcams. That’s real love, Kickettes.
Without further ado, join us as we take a well-groomed and flexed ride around Madrid with a selection of our future bedroom conquests.
Hungarian model WAG person Regina Dukai poses semi-naked with her hot semi naked baller boy, Robert Feczesin. What’s not to like? Image via Facebook.
Hope you’re all having a wonderful day off from work, US Kickettes! Everyone else, you know how we roll.
Read: we’re off to get drunk.
We’ll be back tomorrow bright-eyed and bushy tailed and ready for action. In the meantime, catch up on the latest gossip and photo galleries at your leisure.