Goalkeepers, be warned. Stay on your line when England’s Ellen White is around. Image: Reuters/Daylife
Right. Before you lot start having panic attacks that we’ve got distracted by a passing cake lorry and forgotten to cover the Copa America again, fear not. Today we shall supply you with not one, but two Midweek Results posts; one covering the Women’s World Cup (this one) and one covering the Copa America (hitting your screens later).
We know. Sometimes our diligence and attention to detail is frightening.
Roque! We missed you, baby! Image: REUTERS/Jorge Adorno/Daylife
For some, Independence Day is an opportunity to contemplate the signing of the Declaration of Independence and it’s implications for citizens of the globe. For Kickette staff, it is an opportunity to not do any work. All day. You might think this is sheer laziness, but actually is requires quite a lot of strategic planning; we have to constantly ensure we are in an area with no wifi, broadband or cell signal, in case our Editor changes her mind and tries to round us up.
You have Weekend Results, featuring the highlights of both the Copa America and the Women’s World Cup. Treasure them. We’re not sure if anything else (apart from empty bottles) will make it out of here today.
We thought long and hard about whether it was mean to lead a post that contains heart-breaking news for Arsenal fans with a picture of Cesc Fabregas’ nummy tummy. But then we figured that first and foremost, our duty is to the Kickette Army, whose appetite for manflesh will not appeased by mere sentiment.
This was a reasoned decision. Any complaints should be mailed to the Mayhem & Fruit Beverage Suite, where they will be treated with the contempt they deserve.
Competition for the inaugral ‘Bish, Please’ awards sponsored by Zlatan Ibrahimovic is already underway in the England camp. Image: Reuters/Daylife.
We confess to being quite startled at the huge response our query regarding coverage of the Women’s World Cup received. We must warn you that while we are thrilled to bring you our take on the competition, this is precisely the type of behaviour that tends to upset people who prefer to believe that the Kickette Army’s interest in football extends only as far as the number of naked torsos we can drool over in ninety minutes. Should you encounter any such idiocy, our handy refresher course should prepare you.
Oh. And before we launch into the goings-on in Germany to date, we’d just like to advise those of you expressing concern that we would not be covering the Copa America, that our in-depth analysis will commence on Monday morning. Given our shining track record of covering important events, we’re a bit hurt that you might think we would forget a tournament of the magnitude of the Copa. When do we ever forget anything?
Jose Manuel Jurado can barely contain his despair at the news. Image: Reuters/Daylife.
Let us offer our heartiest congratulations to Manuel Neuer, who sealed his long anticipated move to Bayern Munich yesterday. The club confirmed that the former Schalke player signed a five year contract, although whether that contract includes a shirt removal clause remains to be seen.