'Germany' Category

René Adler: Mown Down & Mystified


Was it a bird? Was it a plane? German NT keeper Rene Adler has no clue what just flattened him, but the herd of rampaging and appallingly shallow Kickette Soldier Girls he sees heading towards Mario Gomez and Mesut Ozil may provide some pointers.

The Friday Fit: Michael Ballack, Bayer Leverkusen


If you can think of a better way to start your Friday than look at a picture of a man, his torso, his hip dips and a tee strolling across Miami Beach before enjoying a delicious, cooling mojito, please tell us. ‘Cos we sure can’t. Images: Bauer Griffin/Zimbio

Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet


Chelsea star with mystery lady

Soz about our slowness these past few days; the Peeps were a callin’ and we failed to resist the temptation of going HAM on our Easter candy baskets.

- After her beloved Norwich City’s 5-1 victory over arch-rivals Ipswich Town, Sky Sports asked celebrity chef/author, Delia Smith, to sing the victory track, “Ole, Ole” for at home viewers. As is usually the case with alcohol, her beer muscles took over and the result is a YouTube video that will live in infamy.

- Chelsea’s Mikel John Obi and a mystery companion were seen leaving the Mayfair hotel in London. Since we don’t have anything nice to say about her hair or her shoes we’ll just keep quiet.

- Happy (belated) birthday to Victoria Beckham, who turned 37 some days ago. She and the rest of the Beckham clan (bump included) swapped their seats on the hardwood for a box on the LA Kings’ ice Saturday night.

- Meanwhile, on the opposite coast of the U.S., Thierry Henry talked political strategy with NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg at the Knicks game.


Mr & Mrs: Lukas Podolski Marries Monika Pulchalski


German national team player gets married

Let’s play ‘we spy’. Our turn first: we spy two round things encased in red. Any guesses?! Image Source: Facebook. Cheers for the story spot, MK!

All the Lukas Podolski-loving ladies and gents of the world, meet your new role model: Monika Pulchalski’s breasts.

Presumably her donation to the ‘groom’s gift’, this photo of the newlyweds (that LP posted on his Facebook page for his fans yesterday) shows just how buoyantly proud her (recently enhanced?) girls were to be there. Which, all studious WAGabees should know, is at least 95% of what constitutes a happy footballer and husband.

Details on their nuptials are skint (read: that’s the extent of our ‘research’) – so we’re soz we couldn’t slake your curiosity some more, Kickettes. Nevertheless, congratulations to the German national teamer/kitty cat king/short tent supremo. We simply love when a footballer takes a wifey.

We love it even more when he doesn’t cheat on her.

Red Carpet Style-Off: Hamburg Hunks & Their Hunnies


Piotr Trochowski (R) and Melanie Tiburtius attend the Couple Of The Year event on April 11, 2011 in Hamburg, Germany.

Photo by Krafft Angerer/Getty Images Europe.

We love awards shows that have no meaning, but simply act as a vehicle for an open bar and an excuse to wear a pretty dress. Take the “Couple Of The Year Awards” that were held in Hamburg, Germany last Monday, for example.

On the left is striker Mladen Petrić and his wife and Despina. Mladen’s shiny silver jacket looks like it never stood a chance at the dry cleaners, but Despina looks like a hairball full of sparkly spunk, no? We love her “me and my side pony are with him” snide side-eye, and she appears to have listened to our advice about the jacket potatoes. Smart gal.

To the right we have midfielder Piotr Trochowski and his girlfriend of 7 odd years, Melanie Tiburtius. They won the award for “Best Engaged Couple”. We’re trying to figure out what Melanie is communicating with her hand gesture: one more year before she’s legally entitled to half his earnings? Was the sound system in the gifting suite too loud for her sensitive earlobes? Is she warding off our encroachment on her Jimmy Choo sandals?

Whatever the case, we’re calling this one a draw and faulting the midweek hump for our abnormally indecisive stamp of attire authority.