We asked for Mario Gomez – not a massive pair of boobs.
Kickettes, since when did Lena’s body fully realise its voluminous self? Is her suddenly ample chest a figment of our imaginations, the fault of her dress or have Miss Gercke’s girls always been that bountiful and tautly compact?
Frank Lampard scored two while Steven Gerrard was on the pitch on Friday night. According to most pundits, this was a physical impossibility a couple of years ago. No wonder he looks confused. Image: Michael Regan/Getty Images Europe.
How did you celebrate the international break? Jumpy claps? Piggy back racing? Provocative hair mussing? Or just simply perving at any hint of manflesh that may or may not have manifested itself?
We had a crack at all of them. With varying degrees of success, it must be said.
This is factual information, Kickettes.
Gareth Bale has a crack at the McKayla Maroney – a face that launched a thousand memes. Our photoshop fingers are twitching, Kickettes.
There were a billion international friendly fixtures last night. Literally a whole billion. Give or take.
We’ve covered a few of the major highlights for you here, but if we’ve missed your boys out, please accept our apologies. As you can imagine, it took a while to count the games after we ran out of fingers.