The Euro 2012 Group O’ Death action soldiered on Wednesday and here’s our two cents about it:
Denmark: So, we know next to nothing about this team. Except that Bendy wore green pants that we’ve never seen before. We thought we’d seen all of his pants, so we’ll go with that.
Portugal: Some of the players need several soft-bristle brushes and a good conditioner to properly prep for game days. An excess of testosterone bodes well in footy matches, but when Ronaldo doesn’t have the energy or desire to whore out his body, you know he’s had a bad day.
Netherlands: Wesley Sneijder’s torso. And that tattoo. Oranje fans have suffered with this enough but Ibrahim Afellay is so refreshingly cute, he makes us want to skip through meadows and wear petticoats.
Germany: Well, they had this loveliness up front. Also up front, Mats Hummels. We assumed teams only needed one muscle-bound, vein-bulging footballer to win a game. So, congrats on that.
Month-long summer footy tournaments are like the hot boyfriend that arrives on a motorcycle, but only brings one helmet. Sexy, but heartbreaking. Wait, let’s clarify as that situation isn’t entirely heartbreaking. True heartache would be if he showed up wearing leather trousers.
Let’s stay on topic.
Saturday’s second game between Germany and Portugal saw some uncharacteristic attempts on goal, WAGs out supporting their men and, as always, reminded us how topsy, turvy and tiresome the Euros can be.
In case you were held in the Vogue beauty closet against your will over the weekend (lucky cow), here’s a simple sum up.
Mesut offers his thoughts on the Euro crisis to German Chancellor Angela Merkel. Images via facebook, Scott Heavey/Getty Images.
Grab a cream puff and settle down for a sightseeing tour of this week’s hits and misses, dear readers.
You needn’t be picky; any stale, calorific cream puff will do.
Images: REUTERS/Juan Medina; AFP.
Airplanes around Europe are trembling under the weight of hair gel and headphones right now as the national teams, fully prepared for battle, make their way to Poland and Ukraine. The staff at Galileo Galilei International in Pisa were on an especially high, Mario-Balotelli-is-in-the-building alert yesterday, but the striker seemed in a good mood and managed to get through customs without having any of his hats seized.
The night before Germany left for the European Football Championship in Poland and Ukraine, Kevin-Prince’s younger brother was spotted hanging around (and later checking into) a Berlin hotel with occasional nudie model, Gina-Lisa Lohfink, while his teammates rested up in a nearby luxury hotel.
The biggest offense of the evening?
It was a €79-a-night airport hotel room. Bastian Schweinsteiger’s one night accommodations cost the DFB €800 alone.
You think the continental breakfast option was included in Jerome and Gina-Lisa’s stay?