If all else fails, Cristiano can always be relied upon to provide us with a much needed boost in the morning. Image: PacificCoastNews.com/Zimbio
How come the weekend seems further away than ever on a Friday morning? Allow us to divert your attention from the responsibilities of being a grown-up for a few minutes with a some perky stories from the past week.
Theo Walcott & Melanie Slade. Happy to consort with Muggles, apparently. See more of Mel’s red carpet look by having a squizz at our Style Files. Images: Getty Images/Daylife.
Fine literature and sweet music accompany your snuffle into the week’s news today, Kickettes. We ask that you extinguish all flammable objects and keep laughter and criticism to a dull roar. Thank you.
We thought long and hard about whether it was mean to lead a post that contains heart-breaking news for Arsenal fans with a picture of Cesc Fabregas’ nummy tummy. But then we figured that first and foremost, our duty is to the Kickette Army, whose appetite for manflesh will not appeased by mere sentiment.
This was a reasoned decision. Any complaints should be mailed to the Mayhem & Fruit Beverage Suite, where they will be treated with the contempt they deserve.
Right. Er… on the plus side, Spurs can be assured that the chances of running into another team in European football with a lavender away kit are limited. Still, we’re not going to turn down an opportunity to gaze adoringly into Rafael van der Vaart eyes, regardless of his attire. Images via waatp, Getty Images/Daylife.
Do you often read our posts and think that our drink related ineptitude is just an excuse for not doing any work? Before we move into the week’s news proper, allow us to avail you of an event that happened to one of our beloved staff this week, and see if you still feel the same way.
Notes for Friday. Stumble through the work day using a supply of coffee and sweets that results in ‘elevated mood sensitivity’. Hope colleagues don’t notice. (They do). Leave office early for ‘one quick drink’ at local bar, announcing intentions of an evening at the gym. Collapse into house several hours later wearing only one shoe and carrying someone else’s handbag. Pass out on carpet, get face burn.
Hair-we-go: It seems that Wayne Rooney’s good humour and positive attitude regarding his recent hair transplant has rubbed off. British artist Alison Jackson has created a spoof video (using a scarily accurate lookalike) of the newly hirsute one trying on a bunch of wigs. Anyone claiming not to have imagined this scenario at least once after reading this story is a liar.