It’s been awhile since we caught up with all the vowels in the English alphabet, so we’ve taken it upon ourselves to dish out some thorough reading material covering all the recent Serie A silliness, scandals and not-so-secret smooching sessions.

Two cappuccinos and a jar of Nutella are must-haves to get through all this juicy stuff:

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You know the scene well: after some summer lovin’ and sad goodbyes, Sandra Dee and Danny part ways. When they bump into each other by surprise at school a few weeks later, Danny plays it cool ‘cuz the T-birds are a step up from the Pink Ladies.

Or something like that. This whatchamacallit has happened so fast our mascara hasn’t even had the proper time to set without clumping.

Frank Lampard declared he’s a single man over the weekend much to the suprise of Christine Bleakley. Either they’re friends with benefits or she is having quite the enjoyable imaginary relationship.

A summary of their statements to cast your opinions is below.
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Image via AP Photo

Let’s address the Sara Carbonero and Iker Casillas relationship talk.

First, we need to say that Sara strikes us as that girl we all knew at school. The rail thin one that swears she doesn’t deprive herself of food. The girl that’s class president who also wants to be the yearbook editor while organizing the senior prom. So before we continue, let’s all roll our eyes as the boys fawn all over her.

(Is it obvious that she grates on our nerves a tad?)

So, we’re having some difficulty evaluating the validity of certain statements in the press about the pair. Especially those supposed Iker utterances. Ya know, the “woman of my life” ones?

(And lest we forget, the the foreign press slammed Iker’s lack of persuasion power when it was rumoured Sara had “chosen” another, older man at the Real Madrid goalkeeper’s expense.)

Here’s what we know and what we call suspect on:

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