We’ve only just stopped counting down the minutes until Alan Smith was back in the Premiership and now he’s attempting a cross-club bromance? Brilliant.
Well, it’s either that, or Smudger is comforting Javier through yet another waking nightmare about what Kickette HQ has planned for him. Hmm. Probably the latter.
Let’s check in on the love-life of everyone’s favourite Argentinian glutes carrier, Gonzalo Higuain, shall we?
The above lady in the silver nightie from La Senza’s popular Space Skanks Collection is Soledad Fandino. She recently broke it off with her longtime beau, Nicolas Cabre, while Higi was rumoured to be steadily dating Luciana Salazar.
Although last Sunday Higuian took to the Argentinean airwaves and denied said love affair with silver nightie girl, the foreign tabs are insistent that this hook up is not only the real deal, but true love. Knocking pins back together at a bowling alley in Plaza Serrano has that affect on people. *Eyeroll*
What is also uncertain is the vacation status of his booty shelf: some say he’s spending another week in Buenos Aires, while another outlet reports that this new duo is holed up at Hotel Riu Palace in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. Either way, Higi is not with his Real Madrid teammates in Los Angeles – yet.
So what’s his new chick all about? Put it this way: the lead shot used above was one of the more demure shots we could find of Ms. Fandino.
We’ll keep you posted.
Let’s address the two stories that are filling up our inboxes with panic, scorn, and scorn-filled panic. We must warn you though, you may not be satisfied by what we have to offer. If you’re looking for closure, you shan’t be getting it here.
Let’s start with the Pastasauce rumours of an engagement with the mighty Iker Casillas:
When we first heard about the ESPY Awards, we lost hours of our lives thinking about how we could blag our way in and receive thousands of award-winning spa treatments. Then, (once sober), we realised we were confusing the American sports awards put on by ESPN with ESPA the beauty brand we want to marry. We know the difference now, and can say with authority that these two things are both fabulous, but completely unrelated.
Now on with the story. The ESPY Awards descended on Los Angeles last night and the USMNT was quite well-represented.
Landon Donovan was the winner of three ESPY awards: Best MLS Player, Best Performance Under Pressure, and Best Moment for his stoppage time goal against Algeria during the World Cup. In true team spirit fashion, all of the USMNT members in attendance took to the stage to accept the award for Best Moment. Here’s our top three observations from the show:
Ashley Cole, knee deep in yet another text-sex tabloid-sell out extravaganza, was in Los Angeles this weekend. As you can see, he’s making friends with women with very impressive hair. (Let’s hope the horse she bought it from got paid well for the sacrifice.) He also made the acquaintance of a lady who didn’t seem to notice her shirt wasn’t covering what it needs to cover. What fun!
Let’s see what else went down over the weekend, shall we?
“I’m not with Noelia, she is not my girlfriend. I am single, and only have a very good friendship with her. Everything people say from there, is all a lie. And I’m starting to get very tired…”
– The ever-outspoken Guti speaks on the media attention after being spotted cavorting on the beach with Noelia Lopez.
His answer could not have been more blunt, huh?
Image via Bellazon/Prisma/Êrogelio Pinate
Saturday
- Ex-Barcelona coach, Frank Rijkaard, got married for the third time. To his kids’ nanny. Hmm…
- During the Netherlands v. Hungary friendly, Robin Van Persie nearly had his shirt ripped off to reveal…another shirt beneath it. So close, yet so far.
- Xabi Alonso is the ex that just won’t quit. Lately, he’s discussing his unrequited love for Stevie Gerrard, with hopes of undressing together once again.
- We also wasted an hour or so trying to figure out which ‘baller’s bubba most closely resembles “Juanito” (one of the top 12 worst World Cup mascots).
- Tottenham’s Luka Modric became a father. He was by the seaside in Zadar when wifey Vanja’s water broke, and he raced to Zagreb to be there in just time for the birth. Baby is a healthy little boy, but they’ve yet to decide on a name. Congrats!
What do Cristiano Ronaldo and Irina Shayk have in common, aside from their lucrative Armani contracts? They’ve (most likely) seen the inner workings of each others’ said designer delicates.
Word is traveling fast that Ronaldo has “dumped” Kim Kardashian’s derriere and was seen cavorting around Corsica with a Russian model last weekend. Airquotes are necessary since we do not sincerely believe Kim K. and C-ron were ever doing anything more than a horizontal shimmy. Plus, she slyly admitted last week that Ronaldo’s “a good guy” and “a good friend”. To us, this is a stretch of her imagination.
So, what’s there to know about this hook-up? For starters, Irina tweeted about a trip to Italy on the 17th of May, which has given the ever-reliable Spanish press enough hearsay to claim Shayk’s identity with grainy picture certainty. Adding more fuel to the fire, three days later Ronaldo took a private helicopter from an undisclosed locale to join up with his national teammates in Portugal. Even Sherlock wouldn’t know what to make of this.
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