Hi. My name is Chris Pontius. I’m looking deep into your soul right now. Wanna make out? Image via DC United.
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You gotta love the boys from MLS.
In the past, the stellar lads at D.C. United have proven their willingness to play along with our games. They’ve proven their ability to kick a ball whilst looking attractive. Now? They’re holding an event in Washington on May 9, called Ladies Night, where you can mingle with the players, eat mini-sized party food, buy jewellery, drink wine and get manicures.
We’re not done. We can confirm that there will be a chocolate fountain on premises.
Who came up with this concept? We want to have their babies.
Anyhoo, we’ve got two tickets to this fantabulous event to give away to our readers.
UPDATE: Winner has been notified. Check your email!
A few crucial details: You must be 18 years of age or older, and you must be able to get yourself to Washington, DC (or live there already.)
It would also be nice if you brought a camera and documented everything that occurs that night, up to and possibly including your arrest.
To win, drop us an email (via our contact form above) with the answer to this question: What position does Chris Pontius play?
Contest closes at 5pm EST on Friday May 1st.
More info: Hot 99.5 Ladies Night
This photo of Iker Casillas doing something, somewhere in a bad jacket with a chin and profile of physical superiority is via Real Madrid’s Official Site. Remind us again why you’re not registered and blazing through their photo galleries? Unless you’re scheduled for immediate surgery, you have no excuse.
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Frank Lampard’s recent social sked: Exits club after hours with randoms avoiding cameras; hits another club night with Saskia in tow; out last night with a blonde, singer James Blunt’s sister. Have the fair-haired finally broken through to the land of Lamps?
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Michael Carrick does charity work with some of Britain’s young disabled athletes.
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Victoria Beckham’s first ever photoshoot involves quite a bit of side-boob.
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In the mood to party with footballers tonight? The Manchester City boys are having a shindig at 33 Peter Street tonight. Break out your best pulling pants and charge the battery on your mobile phone. Just don’t tell anyone we sent you. Whoops. Never mind.
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Video: Patrice Evra and Carlos Tevez surprise Ji-sung Park with a birthday cake. FYI, we’re crushing hard on Evra. So much so that we would actually consider a Mandatory Triple Challenge situation with Carlos. Help us.
A few of the Chelsea boys have been seen out at the London clubs this week: Michael Essien and Didier Drogba headed to Funky Buddha on Tuesday night, and Frank Lampard hit up Boujis.
Earlier that eve, Frank had gone for dinner with his dad, Petr Cech and Henrique Hilario. As we tweeted yesterday, reports say a “mystery” brunette was also in attendance.
FYI, John Terry had din-dins separately at Zuma with his wife Toni, and Frank’s ex, Elen Rives.
Interesting. But we’re more concerned about what happened afterward at Boujis:
For those unfamiliar with this London hangout, the bar closes at 3am. Frank exits the club (through the back door) at 4am.
What was going on for an hour in there? Did he have a large champagne tab to settle? Was he trying to clean yet another unidentified stain off his trousers? Did he have a few overseas calls to make and took advantage of the early morning time difference?
We can’t say. Lampsy is quite an enigma that way.
What we do know, is that there was an interesting assortment of ladies making their way out a different exit of the club five minutes before Frank left. This small gaggle of girls were not terribly thrilled to have their photo taken.
Granted, this may be meaningless. In fact, we suspect one of them may have been on the bar staff. But still. Frank was not in that club alone.
In summary, we have no idea what went on in there. But regardless, we would like to give this unsolicited advice to the single ladies out there who love Frank Lampard: get yourself to London post-haste. And bring your best micro-mini.
Note: This post originally appeared in 2007. Due to the continued and non-stop dating actions of several individuals, it was necessary for an update. You may want to purchase a condom before reading any further.
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Have you heard? Danielle Lloyd is dating a Tottenham player. Her third, in case you’re counting.
You know what that means. It’s time for a Six Degrees of Skanocity 2009 update:
Update, April 2009
9. Chantelle Houghton, a reality TV “star” of D-list (and D-cup) proportions, worked her weave off trying to hook up with Jermain Defoe, and the hard graft paid off. The pair dated for a few months before Jermain cheated on Chantelle. Never mind that Chantelle broke the cardinal rule of dating her friend, Danielle’s, ex-boyfriend, she was still shocked and heartbroken.
Chantell did learn a lot about love though. At the end of her relationship with Jermain, she declared: Expensive shoes don’t make you happy, they really don’t.
WTF? There’s no helping some people.
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Dani Guiza takes a moment to connect with his emotions. His love life is exhausting. Image via PA Wire
So, let’s see, when was the last time we visited our friend Daniel Guiza of Fenerbahce/Spanish NT in the doghouse? Actually, never. Which is a shame, because his personal life is so very worthy of a bulleted Baller Soap Opera list:
- Daniel Guiza was a wild child in his early footballing years. He married, had a son with and divorced his OBM (Original Baby Mama) Rocio Aranda after two years. He eventually partied his ass all the way out of the Spanish second league to up to Getafe.
- Within months, Madrids own Danielle Lloyd, Nuria Bermudez, (she’s dated at least six 1st team players) managed to sink her claws into Dani.
- Known for regularly whipping her shirt off in public forums, Nuria quickly moved to secure the vacant roles of agent, girlfriend and Baby Mama Numero Dos.
- Nuria managed to tame Dani.
- In exchange, Dani promised to make an honest woman out of Nuria if Spain won Euro 08.
- As we here at Kickette correctly predicted, Spain prevailed. The reward for being the ultimate ride-or-die wag (see, Toni Terry, Olalla Dominguez): a ginormous ring, surely?
- There was no ring.
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