'Hook Ups' Category

Cristiano Ronaldo: Unfaithful?


Cristiano holds on tight

It happens to the best of us:

You meet someone new; they’re not like others you’ve known before.

There’s a spark. And so, it begins.

But inevitably, as in any relationship, the two of you become more comfortable around each other. You don’t make the effort you used to before. You floss in the vicinity of your partner. They… leave the bathroom door open. And most tellingly, your infamous physique begins to suffer from all those nights spent eating takeout by the telly.*

So what’s to be done?

Cristiano and SergitoHave an affair, obviously. And if you’re going to choose anyone, wouldn’t it be Sergio Ramos? He’d never force you to have long, deep conversations about life, the universe and everything. It would be all shopping and Gucci belt comparisons.

Damn you Cristiano, you’re living our dream life right now.

*We estimate Cristiano now has 4% body fat, instead of his usual 3.75%.

Baby Mama Drama: Christoph Metzelder


Christoph Metzelder and Novak Djokovic

Real Madrid’s Christoph Metzelder and tennis pro Novak Djokovic at an event in June 2006.

It’s not going to be an easy day for Christoph Metzelder’s girlfriend, Marie Wellman. News has broken that Christoph is going to become a father. For the first time. With a woman that isn’t Marie.

There’s nothing like being in the early, loved-up, I am happy to breathe your second-hand air stages of a relationship and getting news like this. It’s almost as bad as discovering the man you’re in love with has never heard of Prada.



Shacking Up: Teddy Sheringham and Kristina Andrioti



Related: Sheringham sets up home with blonde 20 years his junior.

Singles Market: Diego and Kiko


imageDiego, (who signed for Juventus in May), was back on the singles market for about an hour this month.

FYI, in this current economy, the window of opportunity to hook up with a footballer is mighty small – and getting smaller still, Kickettes.

Best to have some sort of GPS installed on your favourite player if you’re serious about getting in there.

Anyhoo, Diego was recently seen getting hot and heavy with the German singer Sarah Connor in Ibiza.

The main problem?

Sarah is not his long-time girlfriend.  According to this article, Diego’s main chica, Bruna Leticia Araujo, dumped him the second she saw the photos of him engaged in extra-curricular activities all over the papers. Guess the tried-and-tested “deny until even you believe the lie” strategy didn’t work so well this time.

Moving on.


Lazy Links and Randoms



Chelsea’s Salomon Kalou and his chicas exit Movida (back in May) looking smiley, happy and drunkey.

Watch David Beckham and Zinedine Zidane get a concrete pedicure at the Footprints Field launch.

More Becks news: he’s still wearing Speedos and he’s not impressed with Landon Donovan.

Robin Van Persie’s in Cannes talking about his new long-term contract with Arsenal.

Freddie Ljungberg: cheapo?

David Bentley is attacked by a random in a restaurant and Kiko Macheda gets robbed in his home. Ugh.

Jermain Defoe continues to slay our 6-degrees skankocity chart. He’s got a new gal. And she’s a serial baller dater too.

Speaking of skankocity, six Premier League players are being tested for HIV after sleeping the same gal.