'Hook Ups' Category

Frank Lampard: Calling all Single Ladies

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A few of the Chelsea boys have been seen out at the London clubs this week: Michael Essien and Didier Drogba headed to Funky Buddha on Tuesday night, and Frank Lampard hit up Boujis. 

Earlier that eve, Frank had gone for dinner with his dad, Petr Cech and Henrique Hilario.  As we tweeted yesterday, reports say a “mystery” brunette was also in attendance. 

FYI, John Terry had din-dins separately at Zuma with his wife Toni, and Frank’s ex, Elen Rives.

Interesting. But we’re more concerned about what happened afterward at Boujis:

For those unfamiliar with this London hangout, the bar closes at 3am.  Frank exits the club (through the back door) at 4am.

What was going on for an hour in there? Did he have a large champagne tab to settle? Was he trying to clean yet another unidentified stain off his trousers? Did he have a few overseas calls to make and took advantage of the early morning time difference?

We can’t say. Lampsy is quite an enigma that way.

What we do know, is that there was an interesting assortment of ladies making their way out a different exit of the club five minutes before Frank left. This small gaggle of girls were not terribly thrilled to have their photo taken.

Granted, this may be meaningless. In fact, we suspect one of them may have been on the bar staff. But still. Frank was not in that club alone.

In summary, we have no idea what went on in there.  But regardless, we would like to give this unsolicited advice to the single ladies out there who love Frank Lampard: get yourself to London post-haste. And bring your best micro-mini.

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Skankocity: The Study Continues

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Note: This post originally appeared in 2007. Due to the continued and non-stop dating actions of several individuals, it was necessary for an update.  You may want to purchase a condom before reading any further.

Have you heard? Danielle Lloyd is dating a Tottenham player. Her third, in case you’re counting.

You know what that means.  It’s time for a Six Degrees of Skanocity 2009 update:

Update, April 2009

9. Chantelle Houghton, a reality TV “star” of D-list (and D-cup) proportions, worked her weave off trying to hook up with Jermain Defoe, and the hard graft paid off. The pair dated for a few months before Jermain cheated on Chantelle.  Never mind that Chantelle broke the cardinal rule of dating her friend, Danielle’s, ex-boyfriend, she was still shocked and heartbroken.

Chantell did learn a lot about love though. At the end of her relationship with Jermain, she declared: Expensive shoes don’t make you happy, they really don’t.

WTF? There’s no helping some people.

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Baller Soap Operas: Dani Guiza

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Dani Guiza takes a moment to connect with his emotions. His love life is exhausting.  Image via PA Wire

So, let’s see, when was the last time we visited our friend Daniel Guiza of Fenerbahce/Spanish NT in the doghouse? Actually, never. Which is a shame, because his personal life is so very worthy of a bulleted Baller Soap Opera list:

- Daniel Guiza was a wild child in his early footballing years. He married, had a son with and divorced his OBM (Original Baby Mama) Rocio Aranda after two years. He eventually partied his ass all the way out of the Spanish second league to up to Getafe.

- Within months, Madrids own Danielle Lloyd, Nuria Bermudez, (she’s dated at least six 1st team players) managed to sink her claws into Dani.

- Known for regularly whipping her shirt off in public forums, Nuria quickly moved to secure the vacant roles of agent, girlfriend and Baby Mama Numero Dos.

- Nuria managed to tame Dani.

- In exchange, Dani promised to make an honest woman out of Nuria if Spain won Euro 08.

- As we here at Kickette correctly predicted, Spain prevailed. The reward for being the ultimate ride-or-die wag (see, Toni Terry, Olalla Dominguez): a ginormous ring, surely?

- There was no ring.

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Lazy Links and Randoms

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imageThe sexy-as Marco Borriello, who you may remember blamed his girlfriend’s STD cream on his failure to pass a drugs screening, is single-ish. We hear he’s started dating Melissa Satta, who previously dated Cristian Vieri.  It’s like the Serie A version of Gossip Girl, y’all!

As we know, Carlos Bocanegra recently was awarded the number 6 spot on E! channel’s sexiest sportsmen show, and it looks like Rennes supporters agree.

They’ve voted him as the Sexiest Player on the team – a vote that was held by the Rennes Official website.  They dub him “The Made-in-USA Latin Playboy“.  It’s like Ligue 1 is sanctioning and supporting the Kickette mentality!

We’re full of exclamation marks today! Because it’s Friday! And we may or may not have already started drinking!

Sadly, for some, Friday is not a day for celebration, but a day of rage.  Like Artur Boruc. He’s having some anger management issues around crying goalkeepers (looking at you, Iker), and Robin Van Persie’s diet choices.

Californians are going to get a treat this summer: Inter Milan will be playing Chelsea in a San-Francisco friendly in July. There’s some dispute about the official dates, but it looks like Inter will also be making a trip to Boston as well.  Throw in the MLS All-Star game that same month, and it’s a great time for US-based readers to get their stalking knickers on.

imageWill David Villa go to Barcelona now that his people have stated Manchester City isn’t an option? Perhaps he felt his quality side-eye/soul patch wouldn’t be fully appreciated in the EPL.  We beg to differ. Rio Ferdinand, for one, is ready to take you on in a bitchface-off. Anytime, anywhere.

Football club branded condoms. It’s what we’ve always dreamed of, and now it’s come to life. As a nightmare.

Oh, hi Xisco! Your vacations sure look ahelluva lot more interesting than ours. We’re proud that you’re proud.

Finally, here’s a link to watch the always lovely Owen Hargreaves talk about the doctor who worked magic on his knee injury.

Thx Shannon, DG!

 

Welcome to the Club: Saskia Boxford

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Saskia Boxford in Paris, March 2009. Image via ZUMAPRESS/KEYSTONE Press

At first glance she does look like she may have more fashion sense than Elen Rives. But is that enough to win your approval?

We’re talking about Saskia Boxford, the lady currently making her way through the hallowed halls of Wagdom via Chelsea’s hottest bachelor, Frank Lampard. 

Not a lot to go on, but here are the basics: she’s the 23-year-old daughter of a financier and she works for the accessories company Kara Ross.

The good news: she has her own money and she is employed.

The bad news: she’s well-bred enough to be the marrying kind. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet.

Frank and Saskia have been seen together tons of times in the last week – dinner at Koi and La Famiglia, drinks at Raffles, Boujis and The Pig’s Ear pub, afters (always) at her flat. Sounds like they’re in the romantic, lovingly tender early stages of a relationship: ie, shagging like angry rabbits.

Side note: Saskia’s been quoted as saying, “Hip hop music turns me into a ghetto slag.“ 

Is it Friday yet?

Link: Frank Lampard Scores with Brunette

EDIT: Remember, Kickettes, take everything you read in the tabloids with a grain of salt. Frank and Elen have been split for several months already.