'Hook Ups' Category

Randoms: Cheekbone Weaponry & Non-Bulges

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Mark Feehily (of boyband Westlife) likes the Scandis.  In particular, he’s got a thing for Swede Freddie Ljungberg, pictured here after dinner at Cipriani’s. Mark’s take on our long-time favourite? “Of course Freddie Ljungberg is Swedish,‘ Feehily says.  ‘His cheekbones are so sharp they could be used as a weapon! You can’t take him on a plane.‘  Rawr.


Danielle Lloyd missed the call sheet on the laws of photography in the age of the internets: “if you take nasty-ass nekkid pictures, they will soon surface for all to view, or at least be used as blackmail to take your beer money.“  For all of our sakes, let’s hope the pics stay under wraps.


There’s a new WAG on the block. Roxanne Pallett, an actress from the soap Emmerdale, is dating Manchester United’s Danny Simpson.  Caring levels for this news remains minimal, but let’s watch this space.


Liverpool Fashion Week is on, and Alex Curran and crew are doing the rounds. It launched Monday at the Society nightclub and wraps up at the Newz bar on Friday, where Abigail Clancy will be strutting the catwalk. You know you want to be there.


Cheryl Cole is going to try and work things out with cheating hubby Ashley.  In the meantime, her insiders are queuing up to sell “source” stories to the tabloids – she can’t bear for him to touch her, they have to move house, she’s got him on a six-month sex ban, etc.  Let us tell you exclusively what exactly is going on: they’re both miserable and wishing this never happened.


Victoria Beckham on trousers: “I think guys should wear jeans big and baggy, with a big pair of boots or flip-flops – exactly how you see David when he’s out in his jeans and T-shirt. Do not pull them up tight and have your bulge showing. Let it hang!“  Fellas, take note: hanging = good.  Tightly cupped = bad. Posh has spoken.

Photo Call: Jermain Defoe Has Issues

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It’s official.  Dude’s life choices are messed up, y’all.

Link: See Jermain Defoe’s Sexy New Lady

The Re-Hook Up: Charlotte Mears & Jermain Defoe

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Showing impressive mettle and strength and moving-on prowess, Charlotte Mears was spotted out this weekend with her ex-fiance, Jermain Defoe (who split with serial-baller-dater, Danielle Lloyd about 10 seconds prior.)

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We can barely convince ourselves to care about the situation – and our bloody skankocity six degrees chart is now way out of whack thanks very much – but on a random observation, does anyone remember when we all felt a little sorry for Charlotte after she was so unceremoniously dumped by Jermain and betrayed by her friend Dani?  

Alas, Charlotte’s coping strategies – which consisted of getting breast implants, selling her story to the NoTW and hitting every club night within the M25 with photographers stashed outside – have left us more than cold. They’ve left us annoyed.  Not that it’s in any way our business, mind, but what happened to ladies standing up for their rights to bitch slap a badly behaving baller and move on to other prospects?

And more importantly, just what does Jermain have that makes him such a hard habit to break? A killer Margarita recipe? We’re stumped.

Sunglasses At Night: Cristiano Ronaldo

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If you were ever in any doubt about Cristiano Ronaldo’s commitment to the cause, doubt no longer.

Nope, not talking about his loyalty to Manchester United (even though his mother has been making her thoughts on a move to Real Madrid public), we’re talking about his dedication to ensuring that he stays true to his legions of female fans by gymming it up on a regular basis, getting photographed in his skivvies whilst wet and protecting us from un-cute up close and personal situations.

Let’s just get to the crux of the story here: Cristiano wears sunglasses during sex.  To keep things in context, apparently this only happens if his face is not up to par on that particular day.  Considerate, no?

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Alan Smith: Loo Romantic

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Apparently the night before the big England v Croatia match last year (you know, the one we’re still bitter, twitching, and bitterly twitching over), the England team were partying with a group of teenage models at Watford’s Grove Hotel. And by partying, we mean having sex in the toilets, followed by a side of text-stalking.

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