'Hook Ups' Category

Jamelia: Respect the WAG Hierarchy


jaThere’s a battle raging in WAG world, and someone’s going to lose a French manicured falsie in the fight.

UK pop-R&B-zzz singer Jamelia has publicly been airing her views on footballers’ wives for some time. First she harped on about having her own career and not needing her man to fulfill her (she’s shacked up with Millwall’s Darren Byfield). Then she went on about WAGs being “leeches” and singled out Alex Curran, baby-mama and fiancée to Steven Gerrard, with a vicious verbal attack saying Alex only ate three grapes a day or something, we don’t know, we fell asleep whilst reading the report.

“Footballers’ wives are people who are like leeches, feeding off their partner’s success,” J said. “I didn’t seek out Darren because he’s a footballer. I have my own career, my own life, and without Darren I’d still be Jamelia. God forbid if Alex Curran split up with Steve Gerrard. Who would she be then?”

Alex has retaliated with some choice words in this week’s OK! Magazine:

“I couldn’t believe it. I have never met her but she accused me of getting by on three grapes a day, suggesting I’m anorexic or something. It’s because I’m engaged to one of the most famous footballers in the country. I can’t help that. She’ll be glad to know I don’t know her boyfriend’s name but Steven thinks he’s lower than a non-league football player.”


We hear Jamelia is taking off her earrings and pulling her hair back into a ponytail in preparation for the next round. But why bother, girl? When it comes to the footy hierarchy, accept your lowly placing and hope your children will upgrade with a Premier Leaguer next time around.

Link: WAGs Anger Over Jamelia Jibe

Zzz: Abbey & Crouchy


Let it be said: Abi whatsyerface and Peter “tall and lanky” Crouch, we don’t care if you’re a couple or not.


In most instances, we here at Kickette are happy to be the first to jump on the “are they/aren’t they” bandwagon of endless discussion, speculation and analysing of body language from paparazzi photos of footballers and their gals, but not in this case.

We don’t like Abi Clancy.

No, we don’t know why.


Beck Talk: More Text Sex

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Uk model/contestant on Celebrity Love Island, Emma Ryan, has said that she had a 6 week affair with David – they played Strip Scrabble (?), sent saucy text messages and David confessing his lust for her on a regular basis.  She says they never slept together though.  What is the logical conclusion after a game of Strip Scrabble, then? The NY Times crossword and a cigarette?

“He wanted to see me naked and couldn’t wait to play a game of strip Scrabble…Beckham’s people tried to make out it was just a brief fling. But the truth is, it was much, much more…Now I’m determined the whole world will know the truth. It was a love affair. We both had very deep feelings for each other.“

The ish hit the fan when VB found one of the texts and confronted David with it.  He said he loved her too much to cheat, she punched him.  Life went on.  This is bad timing for David and Victoria, when they’ve so publicly been making claims of their love and solidarity.

Gossip and Rumours

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Courtesy of this week’s fabu popbitch newsletter:

Stan Collymore has just spent a week at the nudist resort, Cap d’Agde in France.  Apparently he’s shagged at least 100 women, most of them publicly.

“Dozens of very beautiful women were seen throwing themselves at him as, we’re told, Stan is rather well-hung and currently very toned. However, Stan rejected most of them and made a beeline for “mumsy types”


Stan used to be sexy. 

However, after the public beatdown of then-girlfriend Ulrika Jonsson in a pub in ‘98, trying to sell a tape of them having sex and his various “dogging” incidences up and down the UK, we say: now, not so much.  Or: ick.  Or: wait, aren’t you married??

And there’s more, on Chelsea defender John Terry:

According to PB,

Football clubs are buzzing with the story that (potential England captain) John Terry’s mum got, er, rather friendly, with Jamie Carragher’s brother at the World Cup.