We at Kickette understand the first flushes of true love. The feelings of unbridled lust and desire that consume your soul. The knowledge that the person you have just met totally gets you in a way that no one else ever has. You know you’ll be with them for, like, ever.
It happens to us at least a dozen times a week.
We’re going to go out on a limb here and stake our Pato claim: we.don’t.get.it.
Wait! Hear us out on this one.
Much of what we are about to say is meant in the nicest possible way, but can be interpreted as a plea for help. Make us understand, Kickettes: how is this AC Milan man regularly caught canoodling with high-profile/sometimes reputable birds, regardless of how silly his nickname and attire are?
Trust, we want to be Church of Pato’s Pimpin’ converts. Amidst being left alone and afraid, though, our staff concluded that his secret sauce boils down to 2/3 cups of John Mayer-like lothario lovin’ mixed with 1/3 cup of the youngest Jonas Brother’s curly tendrils.
Yes – although we’ve wasted precious eyelid staring hours negotiating the appropriate doses of each celebrity lady killer, we really are all too lazy to give the JoBro kid a name through Google. Some things never change.
For the love of all things holy, dear readers, please submit your virgin version of his semi-sly seduction cocktail (2.5 nauseating hours of ‘Dora The Explorer’ daytime telly with his lady friend’s kids, perhaps?) or provide photographic evidence of anything other than his abs and VPL as your counter-argument.
Like the ‘chicken or the egg’ theory, we face a conundrum here, folks.
Shall we be the bearers of blasphemous bulletins and admit defeat first or soften the blow with some positive peace of mind?
Show of hands, eye winks or thumbs up: who is feelin’ this past weekend’s irresponsible intake of alcohol and cupcakes?
Saturday
- We can’t determine why, but Brazilian model Analu Campos denied ever flirting, frolicking or fornicating with Marco Borriello.
- Steven Gerrard’s wrinkles were out in full, observation-only effect. And with the departure of his Spanish love just before Valentine’s Day, who can blame him?
- Jessica Lawlor and Claudine Keane are up for Peter Mark VIP Awards. Well, it is awards season, but we somehow didn’t save this ceremony’s date.
One picture down (our pockets are NOT 300K fuller, mind you) and what are our thoughts on the matter?
Carles Puyol is one lucky guy.
And you, Kickettes?
Share