Could it be the quickest post-break-up bounceback ever recorded in football dating history, Kickettes? Diego Forlan’s abs have barely been free for more than 10 minutes and they’re already back on the prowl (or so reports would like us to believe)?
He got her tickets for an Arsenal game, she got him some damn good seats for Wimbledon (but was shockingly knocked out earlier this week). In all honesty, we don’t know what the dilly between Nicklas Bendtner and Caroline Wozniacki is, Kickettes, other than they were recently seen out grabbing some grub with platonic pals.
Or were they?
What began as a reported robbery over the weekend involving the Mexico U22 team has quickly escalated into a salacious sex scandal for the Mexican Football Federation, y’all. Or, another way of looking at it: a juicy way to begin this Tuesday!
Following the team’s friendly in Quito, a few players took stock of some precious baubles that unexpectedly vanished from their rooms. In a state of panic, they and the team raised the issue with the hotel, which promptly put their entire staff in question. The hotel finally got a break in their investigation after they (finally) checked the security cameras. Knowing what we already know about this story, we imagine reactions to the tapes included snickering, sneering and a few face palms. Good times.
Now Kickettes, you know we adore us some Cesc. We are hot for his form and lukewarm for his corny hair styles. We nub him, ya hear?
But c’monnn already with the confusion, babycakes! We can hardly keep up with your shirt stains let alone the girls going through your revolving dating door, so we’re taking today’s juice with an extra helping of preposterous pulp, ladies and gents.
Over the weekend, the Arsenal club captain was papped holidaying with a rando brunette (thought to be named Daniela) in Nice, France. The two – plus a boy who is old enough to know when to take his next dose of Flintstone vitamins – were seen topping off their tans, perfecting their pool entry forms and jet-skiing in the Mediterranean. The brunette with ample assets was identified as ‘Cesc’s girlfriend, Carla Cutie’, but any semi-conscious Cesc fan can clearly see that she is not the Carla Dona Garcia that we once grew to love.
Image Credit: BIG Pictures/KEYSTONE Press.
Normally, when the hearts and hormones of a footballer and a lady align, they can’t help keeping their heavy-petting paws off each other. Unfortunately/fortunately for the general viewing public, this is sometimes at the expense of any number of recently-consumed catered meals.
Because we field questions about the topic all the time, it’s time we give our stance on the matter: certain activities, such as lovey dovey thumb wrestling, are okay in moderation. Tonsil inspection by tongue, however, is a whole ‘nother story that runs the fine risk of waking the sleeping giant in our tummies that is last night’s tequila. Copping a quick grope of your wife’s perky bum? Hey – if she’s still got it then by all means. On the other hand, smooching to sway public opinion is an iffy scenario even for the sappiest of Sugar Plum fairies.
Follow the spotted-with-toxic-materials pink brick ‘READ MORE’ for our full analysis on this issue, Kickettes. Also, keep in mind that the thoughts/views expressed here do not relate to our sentiments on bromantic pairings, because by and large, we approve of manlove.
Just as long as 1/2 of the pair is good looking. That’s a make or break, obvi.