'Italy' Category

QOTD: Fabio Cannavaro Caught In ‘Enormous’ Lie

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Image: REUTERS/Samrang Pring.

“Size has never been a problem for me.”

Er… we beg to differ, Fabio. You may claim not to remember the Photoshop D&G re-touch incident of 2006, but it is scorched into our frontal lobes to the extent that we can call it to mind on closed eyes command.

Size has most certainly been a problem for you, but not for us.

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Midweek Results: Hot Boys & Hobo Chic

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Presumably there will be consequences for Robbie Keane failing to return to LA Galaxy to prepare for the MLS Cup game on Sunday. We doubt he gives a crap, though. Image: Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images.

A bumper edition of results for you today, including the odd sneaky reference to games we *may* have neglected to cover at the weekend.

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Baller Bylines: Alessandro Matri & Mario Balotelli

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Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe.

Alessandro Matri: You have got to be kidding me. You are Mario Balotelli. You can’t operate a training bib without it turning into an international incident. Or dress yourself. Or go for a pee. I’m an athlete. I make a living using my body. Taking all that into account, you want to practice your exciting new hobby of physiotherapy – which incidentally you got into after buying a discount instructional DVD from the supermarket – on me?

No, Mario. It’s not going to happen. Ever. Alright?

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Weekend Results: Lunacy & Lessons Learned

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Wow. JT’s only been benched for a game and already Frank has found a new BFF. Will his former bezzie cope? Image: Alex Livesey/Getty Images Europe.

Bad news. Due to a series of unexpected international friendly results at the weekend, the ‘Kickette Betting for Beverages’ budget has taken a massive hit.

That means that today’s editorial meeting will be fuelled by coffee. Not the morning mimosa mayhem we rely on.

We’re not optimistic as to the quality of our output today.

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Daniele De Rossi: The Hunt Goes On

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“Well, I can hear something rattling when you move your head…” Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe.

The search continues for the neuron that causes Daniele De Rossi to repeatedly remove his shorts during football matches. If it can be isolated by our team of undercover agents (represented by this nice gentleman with a ginger beard), we plan to introduce it to all players’ brains.

Then we shall retire.