'Italy' Category

Baller Bylines: Daniele De Rossi & Mario Balotelli


Images: Getty Images/Daylife

Balotelli: Daniele? Can I have a moment?

De Rossi: My time is precious, homie. What is it?

Balo: Well, as a team elder I hold you in high esteem and have long admired your reputation, both on and off the pitch. I see myself as something of a mercurial lunatic type too, but my behaviour doesn’t seem to be endearing me to the fanbase or my manager. I’m confused.

De Rossi: You’re a fool, child. You can’t just dress like a pillock, collect parking fines and act like an idiot on the pitch and expect people to love you. It takes consistency and commitment. The fans have to genuinely believe you’re insane, not just an immature kid with an over-inflated pay cheque and a selection of crap hats.


Belated Birthday Wishes: Antonio Cassano


Happy one-day-late, cheeky bum pat birthday to A.C. Milan & Italian NT man, Antonio Cassano, who continuously supports our belief that there’s no need for pants. We hope this match ritual is one he passes down to his son Christopher once he becomes age appropriate. Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images.

The Finest Five 6.0: The Big Reveal


AS Roma players on Facebook

Marco Borriello can barely contain his excitement. Philippe Mexes’ missed-our-list consolation prize is the latest pout-plumping lipgloss from Boots.

You lot might be thrilled and excited about today’s reveal of the new Kickette F5 list, but we can assure you that our comments moderator is not. It’s taken us several weeks to rescue her from beneath the mountain of mail received on the matter and it’s very possible she may not ever recover and/or want to work with us again.

You should take pity on her and send flowers to the Mayhem & Fruit Beverage Suite, where she’s still holed up enjoying her quietly calm surroundings before bearing the brunt of the oncoming opinionated-readers storm.


Farewell, Fabs! Cannavaro Announces His Retirement


Image via REUTERS/Sebastien Pirlet.

Five years to the day that he led his calcio boys to victory in the 2006 World Cup, Fabio Cannavaro has announced his retirement from the game. Persistent knee and other injuries led to the decision to hang up his boots.

Awful news, isn’t it?

Canna’s is a legacy of incredible footballing talent: most capped Italian player in history, 2006 European Footballer of the Year, expert chest hair shaver, love of the game and eyes that can peel off a good pair of knickers with one glance (we and Alena Seredova speak in facts and truths, Kickettes).


Francesco Totti: Best Below The Belt Moments


So happy to see this man ain’t losing his touch.

Or his affection for itsy bitsy banana hammock bottoms.

Envisioning a world without invasive snaps such as these makes us feel aggro with a side of the stabbies. And no, our angry cry faces are not even the slightest bit cute.

So, without further ado, join us in looking back on our top 5 most infamous, brief-tastic Francesco Totti moments.