In order for this match up to put its money where its mouth is, you’ll need to visually prey on the weak, naive and pouty. Images: AP Photo/Thanassis Stavrakis.
The luxury of the group stages is over and last night, over nachos and peach schnapps, we watched Portugal engage in a war of attrition against the Czech Republic’s goal.
It was a bit of a turgid affair, Kickettes, but eventually, Crisps and his slicked back style broke through the barricades and scored the only goal of the game, leading to much merriment and falling over. From us, not them.
With a trio of matches and the semifinals on the line this weekend, try not to worry too much. Your teams are going to be just fine.
No, it’s not right nor fair to make anyone choose, but no one said a life objectifying men would be easy.
During Monday’s Group C games, we were:
- Pleased that Niko Kranjcar found his razor in time;
- Curious about Fernando Torres’s possible use of bronzer in the first half; and
- Wondering why Kevin Doyle wore his kit instead of his Everyman towel (surely it would’ve been worth the last ditch effort?).
Once things were all said and done, we were:
- Delighted to see how Ireland and Croatia “reacted” to their losses; and
- Shocked at the lack of celebratory girlish face tickles exchanged after Italy advanced into the tournament’s next round (although there was that Balotelli face gag by Bonucci that folks are buzzing about).
What’s your take on all the results?
Really – are you interested in this recap at all?
We thought we were, but we’d rather gaze at Iker than write another 10,000 entries on the Beckhams.
Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images.
We might spend our time pretending that the world consists only of hot footballers, their lovely partners, ridiculous cars and the odd llama, but sometimes, shit happens.
Let’s just get the latest crappy news out of the way now so we can press on with the pretty and/or woolly.