Alvaro? Kickette Jnr alert. Three o’clock. Image via facebook.
Scaring the bejeezus out of prospective customers is an innovative marketing technique, and one that seems to be working marvellously for adidas. When David Beckham popped up on hapless punters minding their own business in a photobooth before the London Olympics in July, it’s believed (by Kickette staffers) that shirt sales increased by 300%, simply because people were so bewildered they didn’t know how else to react but to hand over their hard earned cash.
Multiply that mortification by 300, and you can imagine how the above Real Madrid fans felt when Iker Casillas, Xabi Alonso and Alvaro Arbeloa casually popped into a fan preview of their tasty green third kit. We’d like to think we’d have retained our casual, women-about-town demeanours as well as those fans, but let’s not kid ourselves here. At least three of our staffers would have stripped on their own accord.
What about you? Cool, calm and polite? Or hot, bothered and basically nude?
Basti’s feeling glad all over. Image: Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images.
We’re not so much doing body language right now as exuding caffeine fumes and an air of menace. Luckily, our ‘baller boys are far more expressive with their appendages.
He’s suffering, not sad, apparently. Like we’re supposed to know what the difference is between the two these days.
But anyway, is it weird that we’re a bit turned on by down-in-the-dumps yet cleanly shaven (with the saddest of sad puppy dog eyes to boot) Cesc?
Or, to put it another way if we must, do you find suffering Cescy?
Image: Bauer Griffin.
The arguably most talked about couple in Spain seems to be closer than ever to having their sexual interactions broadcast to the world. While Shakira’s reps originally denied, denied, denied the existence of any sex tape – blaming two of the Colombian singer’s former employees for winding everybody up – it’s being reported that a sex tape between the Barcelona ‘baller and singer does, in fact, exist.
Some things in life make you feel secure. Satellite television. Owning 16 times the amount of shoes you might ever need. A milky cup of tea. Cristiano Ronaldo and his well-matured thighs cheerily stretching on the practice pitch to our heart’s content. We need these things to survive.
So when CR7 drops somewhat of a bombshell to the Spanish press claiming he haz a sad that’s preventing us from seeing him semi-clad, we’ve got a serious problem on our hands.