'Ligue 1' Category

Good Week/Bad Week: Health & Safety Update

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It can only get better from here on in, surely?

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Weekend Results: Crimes & Punishments

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Image: Mike Hewitt/Getty Images Europe.

How can something so pure and lovely as a young player taking off his shirt in celebration be a crime, when there are other, far more frightening offences being committed on the pitch all the time?

Peruse the inconsistencies in refereeing standards across Europe with us, Kickettes.

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Weekend Results: A Rampant Case Of The Panzerknackers

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kickette match recap

Die ‘Panzerknacker’ von Schalke 04“.  Yup. What they said. Image: Dapd via Derwesten.de.

According to our team of linguistics experts (AKA wikipedia), ‘Panzerknacker’ means ‘armour breaker’.

We’ll warn you now, one of our staffers is so in love with that word, she’s going to keep using it as a euphemism until we either fire her, or smother her with samples from the fashion cupboard.

Maybe both.

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Weekend Results: Surprising Surges

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Yuto Nagatomo of Inter demonstrates that FIFA directives can easily be sidestepped with a little half time improv. Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe.

Ooh, nudity.

Make the most of it, Kickettes. Sculpted abs of this calibre are an endangered species at this stage of the season.

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Weekend Results: Box Office Body Language

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Basti’s feeling glad all over. Image: Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images.

We’re not so much doing body language right now as exuding caffeine fumes and an air of menace. Luckily, our ‘baller boys are far more expressive with their appendages.

Enjoy!

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