'Ligue 1' Category

Snow Day Salutations: Yoann Gourcuff, Bordeaux


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Spotted on our Facebook page. Perhaps this is reason to check it out more often?

To give your inclement weather spirits a little pick-me-up, why not listen to the foreign language stylings of Yoann Gourcuff?

Seems that due to the snow in France, he and his teammates experienced some hardships whilst en route to training. Don’t panic – his mascara is all natural so there’s no smudging in his lash game.

In the above vid, Mr. G explains how he kept busy during the 1 hour commute from Bordeaux city center to Le Haillan, where the training ground is located.  As he recounts an earlier car accident, which required police assistance,  Gourcuff admits his delight (and subsequent gigglefest we imagine) as the policemen slipped and fell.

Naughty boy, Yoann.

We approve.

Yoann Gourcuff: Back To The Grind


Image via Olympique Lyonnais FC

T’would appear the beautiful Mr. Gourcuff is having the same difficulty embracing the post-break return to work as we are. At a recent training session with Lyon, his lackluster expression (not even the legendary lashes can de-bitch, please those eyes) and 5 o’clock shadow says it all: working for a living is shite.

Or, he could still be mad at us for dumping him so unceremoniously off the F5 list like the fickle cows that we are, and is just giving us some cut eye.

Yup, probably that.

Weekend Results: Enough Snow, Already!


Yup. Even a slightly kinky rubber mask fails to dampen our ardour. Poor Borri. (Reuters/Daylife)

This weekend, we learned that there’s only so much fun a group of high maintenance women can have in the snow. The UK arm of the Kickette organisation inform us that while they have enjoyed thinking about building a snowman, road testing cashmere snoods and browsing the interweb for useful new winter garments, they have now had enough and would like it to go away.

Oh for the sanctuary of Kickette Island. Where the sun is hot and naked twister is compulsory. Sigh.


(We Reject This) Product Shill: Olympique Marseille For KAHMO


Image: PaseenProfondeur.fr

Truth be told that on days we’re lacking in stories or inspiration, we hit Google. And today, we hit the awkward photo jackpot.

Somehow, the genius behind Lisa Lingerie and KAHMO duped Marseille footballers Mathieu Valbuena, Charles Kabore and Jean-Philippe Sabo – as well as one of the club’s rugby stars Frederick Ourabah – into thinking ladies love a good neon underwear gang bang.

That, or creators of the KAHMO collection understood that their designs were… utter crap. After all, who’d want to claim stake in boxer briefs that look like the consequences of Z-list guests at an Ed Hardy forgetting to tip their bartenders?


Weekend Results: Tight(s) At The Top


To close for comfort? Maybe for some… (Reuters/Getty)

There’s something for everyone in the Weekend Results as we move inexorably towards the carnage that is the festive break. The EPL, La Ligue and Ligue 1 are all tight as an unwanted base layer, while the Bundesliga and Serie A look to be over before you can say ‘We’ll take a bottle of Cristal and five straws, please’.

That statement just about covers our thoughts this Monday morning. Baller bodies and booze. That’s where we’re at, team! Let’s try and justify our existence to the wider world with actual football news, shall we?