'Match Results' Category

Weekend Results: New Day, Same Complex

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Image: Eric Christian Smith/Getty Images North America.

Usually we lean towards a ‘multitasking’ approach to the weekend matches; the tendency towards exhibition football by the bigger clubs allowing us to freely surf for handbags whilst keeping half an eye on the games.

Not to worry, though. We’ve compiled a short montage of this past’s key moments for our beloved Kickettes today.

And by key moments, we mean gratuitous shots of men focused on doing their jobs as professional athletes that we have turned into cheap, tawdry moments of objectification for our own amusement.

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Andre Santos: There’s A Time & A Place For Shirt Stalking

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Hey lads, did the connoisseur of dirty laundry teach you nothing? Image: Getty Images.

Andre Santos acted like an overly aggressive shirt swapping beaver, it was widely reported after halftime in Arsenal’s tie with Manchester United arsenal manchester united halftime shirts ritual thierry henry dirty laundry connoisseuron Saturday. Most thought the player should’ve had other important matters on his brain at the break besides seeing RvP bare-chested, but we were not one of them.

For those still striving for the silver lining here – the pair was photographed together mid-act, although van Persie failed to give his abs their due.

Dammit.

Midweek Results: The Wetter, The Better

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daniele de rossi

Images: AP Photo/Luigi Vasini; Getty Images Europe.

It’s not classy to have genuine, red-faced, vein-throbbing rows about football, which is why we’re usually happy to roll about in drenched-in-rain ‘baller frustration for hours to come.

But the combination of wet millionaires and clinging-on- for-dear-life kits? Mercy, this may take us days.

Were you over-awed or bored Wednesday’s various domestic action, Kickettes? Your thoughts on the Capital One Cup, if you will?

Weekend Results: Jumpin’ & Slumpin’

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Images: Action Images, Shaun Botterill/Getty Images.

A lot can be blamed on Cristiano. Like uncontrollable laughter, learning new dance moves, and the superficial importance of matching your Gucci hat with your Gucci belt and backpack.

But this weekend’s officiating is not one of them.
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Champions League Observations, Part II: Stressful Shebrahimovic Shenanigans

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helena seger wife WAG paris transferRegrettably, Drew, we did notice the ‘do. What kind of uglyitis fashion abomination was that?

We also picked up on Francesco Acerbi’s ‘I’m sad in a butterfly sit’ sulking, Vito Mannone going down on Ibrahim Afellay – literally – and the fact that we carelessly misplaced our binders full of ‘ballers during halftime (thanks for the idea, Mittens), which were still ruing several caffeinated hours later.

How did woeful loss Wednesday treat our lovely readers? Were you disturbed by your late night snack choices (we stress ate our nails to basically nothing). And didn’t last night feel like you were watching a Three Stoges rerun or something? Trios of players, impossibly tangled up the way a yarn ball is, pissy as hell, as if they’re about to bring down the runner purely by slapstick comedy?